To cry while the world celebrates

I started the day with this tweet: 

Obama has had quite a good weekend. Good day to be an American.

 

I ended the day (so far) with the following post to facebook:

A man died today and the world cheered. While he was very clearly atrocious, all it does is make me think back to that dreadful day so many lost their loved ones. I worry about the families who now have to relive that, and I feel for a nation that is now erupting in political warfare over who gets to claim this "victory". In truth, we all lost. They just happened to lose last.

I've been rather conflicted all day.  I was happy at first.  What great news.  Finally.  And even if you don't care about the events, it was great for Obama (yes, I'm a supporter). 

But it just feels weird celebrating someone's death.  I'm pretty agnostic, so I honestly don't feel the "let God bring him to justice now" type of emotion.  I honestly wish I believed that.  Maybe I would feel better about things.  But alas, I don't.  So of course, the conflict continues.

This just doesn't seem like a victory to me.  It really isn't.  It's an act of war, yes.  I'm against the war (I still strongly support our boys fighting, however).  I believe all people are good.  Those who make mistakes are often misled, uneducated, or were abused in some way at some point in time.  They are not born that way, and if they turn out that way, then we as society have failed them.

In the end I feel like a 5 year old can say it better than I can.  I've linked you to her blog in the past- her son is a sage for sure.  Wiser than anyone I've ever met, I swear. 

I guess in the end I am a little reassured that he is gone.  And while I don't agree with killing, I think it was probably the safest solution for the world, for my country, and for my future children.  I will mourn the loss this world has seen, however.  Not just this one man's death, but the several who had to suffer a cruel death 10 years ago, and also those who are now reliving those deaths today.  And if I ever pray, it is most certainly for the children today asking all of the innocent questions that no one should ever have to explain. 

The rights of a blogger

Do me a favor.  Go research the whole "teacher blogger gets suspended for her blog" thing going on and then let me know what you think.

I personally agree that the education system is majorly screwed up.  Why do you think I dropped the idea of being a teacher?  I love kids.  I can't do teaching.

I agree with her message, and her right to blog.  I don't think a company should be able to control what we do outside of work AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT INVOLVE WORK.  I don't even feel that bloggers should be completely censored regarding work.  I don't mind discussing it sometimes, and sometimes it could be a positive thing for company and employee alike.  But I follow rules.  I would never blast my company or the people I work with.  Not because I don't want to (we all want to at some point, whether we are right or wrong for it), but because I know there are consequences for what we say.  ESPECIALLY what we say online.  I think we all need a lesson in taking responsibility for what we say.  If a parent had overheard her say the things she did in her blog, and thus complain, she would be held accountable.  It wouldn't be a nationwide scandal, but she would be held accountable.  The difference here is that a LOT of parents "overheard" her comments.

So I'm curious to see what your take on the whole thing is, as bloggers.  How do you feel?

Parenthood and my liberal "young parent" ideas

The title is my own.  No one has criticized my ideas.  Mainly because I'm not a parent yet.

I love love love the show Parenthood.  It's a lot of drama, but it's the drama of real life situations, I think.  It's interesting.

So the show has a website (of course) and on that website each week it posts a poll of "hot topics" from the show (because of course... no one agrees on how to parent appropriately).

I have found that I disagree with the majority of viewers on a very very regular basis.

I'm a little surprised by that.  Mainly because of lying, it seems.  Is it ok to lie to your child (who is autistic, but doesn't know it) about going to a support group for parents of autistic children?  Yes.  I think so.  He doesn't realize he's different.  Why point it out when the doctor said he's not ready to know?

The world disagrees with me.

Is it ok to lie to the principal of a nice elementary school (tell him you, the parents, are married when, in fact, you are not) in order to get in?  No.  I don't think so.  Besides, he'd probably find out the truth later anyways.

The world disagrees with me again.

Should you steal Halloween candy from your child?  Yeah.  They don't need all that sugar.  Neither do you, though.  And I'm not talking "gobble it all up" stealing.  I'm talking a piece or two here or there.

Again, the world disagrees with me.

Do you watch the show?  I'm so curious to see what you think of it, and of the hot topics!

For 2011

I'm not normally a person to make New Year's Resolutions, because quite frankly we usually don't keep them.  BUT.  This past year I noticed that I was just sorta going through life and getting really comfortable with routine and my every day life.  (read: boring).  SO this year I have 2 resolutions: to live life with more purpose, and to leave my comfort zone more often!


For example.  I plan on signing up for the Warrior Dash today.  


Also on the list this year?


Goals for us: 


Mike wants a full time job.  He's expecting a call for an interview in the next week.
I want to get a lot of grad school in (I start in 9 days).
Run the Warrior Dash (and some other 5k races).
Attend a wedding!  My brother will have a May wedding.  :)


Goals for the house:


We need to cut down a tree... Sadly...
If Mike gets that nice full time job we just might get new windows!
I want to re-do the master bedroom and the project room.  We're thinking natural earthy tones in the bedroom and I like the idea of bright colors for the project room (since later it will eventually be a baby's room).
Hang a clothes line!  We have a huge nice backyard.  Time to make use of it!
Landscape- I want a garden in the front yard, and I hate our bushes!


Project list- 


Window treatments for the bedroom
Bottle Chandelier
Laundry Organizer
Sewing Cart
Message Center at the door (Can't decide which one I like best)
Knit several projects and open an Etsy shop???  Or maybe just get my Christmas gifts done early.  We'll see!


Happy 2011 y'all!

Winding Up 2010

2010 leaves much to be desired, to be very honest.  Personally I can say I have detested this horrible year, and I can't wait for it to be over.  But I must admit- there has been a lot of growing and a lot of learning who my (and my husband's) true character is.


Here's a quick recap of the year, bloggy-wise and non-bloggy-wise.


January- We moved into our house!!!!!

February- Mike was unfortunately transferred from his "temporary" full time position to a "permanent" part time position.  Blah, but I have to say it was expected.  Either way it kind of put a damper on our economics.


March- A friend of mine actually moved in with us.  Technically.  She'd actually been living with us since January, but it was only temporary... until it became permanent.


April- I started my blog and told you all about our Wedded Bliss.  I also learned that diamonds can indeed break.


May- I told you about our Mothers Day and then about learning to use Iphoto.


June- I told you our awesome news about making new traditions.  I also discovered that I detest translating, but I love libraries.


July- I was mostly sick.  But I learned I could endure several weeks of constant nausea.


August-  I unfortunately shared the bad news.  And then I lost my Grandpa.  August is a really bad month in our family.  But I learned my own strength, and that when needed I can survive just about anything.


September-  I shared the things that made me happy.  I discovered that getting away is not the same as running away.  I witnessed the Running of the Weiners.  I described Football in our house.  And we remodeled our beautiful office.


October-  I shared important shit- like what the freak are Fast Flats.  And how to budget your money.  And that thing about loving myself, which I indeed think I have learned.  I also applied for Graduate school.


November-  I began freezer cooking.  Which I love, by the way.  I also confessed my desperate need for a dayplanner.  Oh, and did I mention?  I made a freakin' turkey!!!!!!!  


December- Mike turned a quarter of a century, and I am finally able to say that I have found what makes me happy.  Oh, and I have registered for my first semester of grad school.  :)


And by the power vested in me, and speaking for several others, I say "Goodbye 2010!!!! We've learned our lessons.  Now it's time to move on.  May we never see the likes of you again!"

Top 10 Signs You've Overdone Christmas

I saw an article online today that listed some pretty goofy ways to tell if you spent too much on your kids.

1- We don't have kids, so it obviously doesn't apply.
2- I never intend on spending the type of cash a lot of parents tend to spend apparently.  Seriously?  You people are just nuts.
3- The article was stupid.

BUT!  People over do the holidays ALL THE TIME!  Every year I hear all of this complaining, and griping, and general "I'm freaking out from so much to do!" ness.  I think people have lost the idea behind Christmas.

Am I the kettle calling the pot black?  Maybe.  I do believe my last post listed how behind I was.  BUT!  I don't feel obligated to do ANY of it.  Did I have to get my brothers Christmas AND birthday gifts?  No.  We don't care.  Did I have to hand make over 40 Christmas cards (20 left, people)?  NO.  Did I have to hand make 3 gifts?  Decorate so much?  Bake 4 batches of cookies (and counting)?  NO!!!  I do it because I love making things, I love baking desserts, I love the "oohs" and "aahs" of all the people I care about.  I love giving.  I do it because I enjoy it.  I don't cuss as I trim the tree, or develop Tourette Syndrome while baking (although the cat can change that...).

So here are my top 5 signs you've over done Christmas-

5. You are fighting with the hubs (wife) more than you are smiling.
4. You emptied your bank account (or maxed a credit card) to cover the expense.
3. You are having trouble sleeping because you are dreaming about things going wrong.
2.  You find Christmas music gives you a sudden urge to turn into the Hulk.
1.  You ended up giving someone a bloody nose in a fight for the last ZhuZhu pet (or thing of silly bandz, or Bratz doll). 

Merry Christmas, and please.  Remember that you are supposed to ENJOY the Holiday season!

Traveling for the Holidays- Dealing with the TSA

So have you seen all the hype about the TSA and this new back scatter machine?

They're mad scary, to me.

I am thankful this year that I don't have to fly anywhere.  I usually don't have to, to be honest (most of our family is within driving distance).  But I like to fly, and I tend to fly on occasion.  Once a year is pretty standard.  Sometimes more. 

I won't be flying for a long long time, though.  These back scatter machines are over the line, and while I understand the TSA has the authority to say "do it or don't fly" I also understand my right to say "no thanks.  I guess the airline can go bankrupt because I'm not going through that thing nor will I be groped in public."  Notice here, that I do not feel it is appropriate to try to gum up the works or be deliberately rude.  I do, however, love the idea of a boycott.

Please hear me out- here are my reasons.

First, there is the story behind the notorious bomber who created this security mess.  The infamous Underwear Bomber.  #1- Did you know that the back scatter machine wouldn't have caught him?  That's right, folks.  Experts have agreed on that point.  #2- Did you know that the security system ALREADY IN PLACE failed to catch him?  Here's a quote from National Counterterrorism Center Director Michael Leiter "Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab should not have stepped onto a plane on Christmas Day," he declared.  "The counterterrorism system collectively failed and I along with Director [of National Intelligence Dennis] Blair and Secretary [of Homeland Security Janet] Napolitano and others want to tell you and the American people the same thing we told the president, that we have to do better."  He should never have been on the plane.  Period.  The rules that were already established SHOULD have caught him.

#3- And this is a smaller point to be made, but still one to consider.  Medically, the machine could be hazardous to your health.  The levels of radiation used aren't horrible (although we could have a whole debate on whether or not radiation at all is ok).  BUT there are still concerns over how it will affect the skin, especially for frequent flyers.  What about pregnant women? Plus anomallies- machinery fails, ya know.  And if something goes wrong with these machines, you could get a lot more radiation than ever healthy.  I just don't like the idea of frying my body (even if it's for a minimal amount) for convenience.

#4- and my biggest point.  I think we have crossed a line.  We've been getting closer and closer to that point over the years, but this has actually crossed the line.  Where does it stop?  The most extreme and horrible atrocities on this planet started out like this.  Not so harmful things that you normally wouldn't be ok with, but it's for the right reasons, right?  Do you think the holocaust started off with Auschwitz and deathcamps and gas chambers?  Of course not.  They started off with registering all the Jewish citizens, making them paint symbols on their homes and wear patches on their clothes.  Doesn't seem so horrible right?  Or another more useful example (some might say the holocaust is going too far here).  The Japanese internment camps in 1942.  After the attack on Pearl Harbor around 110,000 Japanese-Americans were "relocated" to these camps.  They were seen as a possible security threat.

Now, my question was where does it stop?  Most will say, well that's what it takes to feel safe.  But eventually someone will come along and find a way around the scanner.  Where there's a will there's a way.  What will be next?  How far will you let it go?

Well, you don't have a right to fly.  So they can impose this regulation, right?  Ok.  So what about the movies or the mall?  Or how about an ice skating rink in central Park?  or the subway in DC?  What if someone decides to blow up one of those, and now all of a sudden you gotta be groped or scanned to go see a movie or shop?  What if this holiday season you have to be pat down in all your crevices to go ice skating?  Would you be ok with that?

And then finally #5- I just find it on principle wrong.  Doctors can't share your health records unless medically necessary (ie one doc to another doc).  They can't even give your medical records to your spouse without permission (and I like these rules).  So why is it ok for a security agent to get to see your whole body OR if you refuse to get to play touchy feely?

There are so many issues I have here, and it's mainly because it seems like there is no end.  We have established a bill of rights and a Constitution because of things like this.  We set up rules at the beginning stating "this is wrong."  They were established to prevent things going over the top, because in fear people can lose their better judgment.  It's like teaching safe sex.  You're taught to have a plan.  Set your boundaries BEFORE you start dating someone.  That way when the time comes you aren't making decisions with impaired judgment (be it from alcohol or teenage hormones or peer pressure or whatever).  Isn't this the same thing?  We have a right to privacy.  Don't give up your rights out of fear (otherwise known as impaired judgment).

AND end rant.

This year I am thankful for...

1.  Family- I have the most wonderful support system I've ever seen!  A lot of people think we're a little weird, though.  We have a lot of different relationships.  Oh, and the hubs.  He's just amazing.  Of course the pets count too.  This list is too big to go into detail, but there's my mom, my two brothers, my husband, the cat and dog, my 4 uncles and 4 aunts, my 5 grandmothers, my 7 cousins... I don't believe any of them have ever NOT been there for me.  Also, for the sake of keeping you sane and because technical titles never matter anyways, I simplified several titles.  Oh, and this isn't even counting all the in-laws.  There are tons, and they are just as special.


2.  Friends- My phone was ringing off the hook with all the love.  Although there were a few interesting tweets as well "I'm supposed to do WHAT to the turkey???"


3.  My house- I had abundant room for house guests, and while not all ended up staying, we were very comfortable.  We had ample space for cooking (kind of) with nice new appliances (pretty new at least).  The house isn't always as warm as we'd like, but it'll do.  And it's full of our lives- our things with our memories.


4.  My car- you know, the one that had a water bottle get crushed under the back seat, and this morning had a HUGE WATER PUDDLE all across the back?  Yeah.  That car.


5.  My job (and Mike's)- Even though we both had to work today (he's still there) I will say we are rather lucky to have our jobs.  And I did get to leave early, after all.


6.  My new school!  I am so thankful that I got into grad school (and I got the loans needed as well!).  I just hope I can be registered for classes ASAP.  I've already emailed the advisor AND financial aid AND put myself on a few waitlists.


7.  The food we ate- it was delicious.  My mashed potatoes are by far one of my favorites.  And mom's dumplings.  yum!  And turkey, of course.  Too bad there weren't any leftovers (of the turkey).  We devoured a 23 lbs turkey.  Can you believe it?


8.  My health- I managed well yesterday, and I still feel healthy.  I didn't overeat, and I want to exercise.  I see way too many people who just don't care, and it's sad.


9.  My ambidexterity- I think it's a big help with my knitting.  This means I can make some pretty awesome gifts for some pretty awesome people!


10. My time- I'm considering doing some volunteer work this winter, but I haven't decided where.  Gotta do some research!


Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  I hope yours was as amazing as mine!

Wedded Wednesday- Voting

Since yesterday was election day, I think it's appropriate to discuss politics just this once (ok... I'll probably discuss politics a lot in the future, but I try not to).

I'm very opinionated, and when it comes to politics, I'm extremely opinionated.  That being said I lean one way with politics.  Not because I was told to, but because I am very informed, and I've found that I line up almost exactly with one specific side of things.  From reading my blog, you might even be able to take a gander at which way I lean, but if not, I refuse to tell you because quite frankly it's not relevant.  Just know I do have a very specific leaning.

My husband does not.  He hates politics.  He's very apathetic.  I'm pretty sure he only votes because I make him.  ;) No, I don't make him vote my way.  He does, though.  For his own reasons.  We even argued last night over one of his votes (we disagreed, but his reasoning was because the ad was done so well (in film-speak).  I WILL argue with you if you vote for stupid reasons, such as filmography).

A lot of people believe that it's not polite to discuss politics.  Indeed, I have learned that politics is a bad subject in group setting.  I don't discuss politics with my friends unless I know which way they lean and that we agree.  It's just nicer to have a conversation when you agree, ya know?  I respect their opinions if we don't, but I also put in the effort to avoid a disagreement.  This means that politics are (mostly) a no-no with some specific people, including an aunt and uncle, my cousin, and 2 of my closest friends (yes I have bi-lateral relations).  Also almost everyone I work with.

However, in a relationship?  We discuss politics, but rarely.  Mike doesn't care, really, and I try not to push my opinions on him.

But what if Mike and I didn't agree?

I personally find politics to be one of the BIG RELATIONSHIP TOPICS to discuss prior to marriage (right up there with "how many kids, if any").  If we don't agree, or we automatically start fighting over politics, it won't work out (obviously, it worked out fine with Mike.  This is a what-if).  I've been there and I hated it.  I can respect your opinion, but I don't have to live with it, and I won't.  For myself, politics in a relationship need to be on the same page.  This is definitely something I was wary of when I was dating, and I'm, quite frankly, very happy with the outcome.  It has nothing to do with different opinions.  Mike and I are very different in several areas of life.  It has everything to do with how I relate politics with your character and how you live your life.  As a friend, you have your own thing and I don't judge.  As a boyfriend/fiance/husband, your life and mine are intertwined too much.  And in practicality, to be very honest I never found someone from the opposite party that was really appealing to me as anything more than a friend.  I'm not sure if that's pure coincidence or what the reasoning may be, but it is what it is.

I am very curious about YOUR opinions on the matter, though.  Are you in a relationship with someone of a different political affiliation?  How do you handle politics in your house (whether you agree or disagree)?  Also, what do you teach your kids regarding politics (we don't have them yet, and I'm curious)?

Please do me a favor, though.  I don't want a comment battle or anything, so leave out party affiliations as much as possible.  KThanxBai

Wedded Wednesday (On a Thursday)- Running a Race

Do you ever feel like you're running a race through life?  Like you're always looking ahead at that next freakin' step?  So much so that you forget to enjoy the last step you accomplished?

THIS is my biggest problem, I think.  I see that I'm 24 years old and I automatically think "Holy SCHNIKEYS I'm twenty-freakin-four!" and almost panic because I'm nowhere near where I want to be.  I don't think Mike panics like I do, but he's certainly not where he wants to be either, and I know it weighs on him.

But I'm TWENTY FOUR!  I have like... a bajilion years left (oh dear, please please don't let me jinx myself!).  I have a stable job, even if I don't like it.  I have a college degree, even if I'm not using it.  I even have a husband.  :)  He has a college degree.  He may only be working part time, but at least he's using his degree.  We own a house (we own a freakin' house, man!). 

So why do I feel the need to rush into the next step?  That baby craze is awfully contagious, and it's awfully hard not to think "oh gosh i want one of those".  (It also doesn't help with the tragedy that happened in Aug).  Part of it is all the babies around me- they're on tv, they're in the office, and they're all over my freakin' facebook (OMG my generation is fertile!).

For us, we are waiting a little while, I think.  Mike is still part time, so financially we're not as stable or as prepared as I'd like to be.  I also would like to go back to school and get my Masters.  Plus, we have a bajilion house projects we would like to work on.  So I'm doing my best to NOT RUSH MYSELF!  It was SO HARD there for a while.  I felt like I was running out of time.  But you know what?  I can still be having children in the next 10 - 15 years.  THAT'S A LOT OF YEARS!!!

Because there is so much to enjoy at our age.  I have a husband I can spontaniously go out with.  I have friends I can party with until dawn without a worry.  As the first in our group to have a child, would we even see them much afterwards?  We have a dog who is all about getting all the attention, and can actually get it.  I get my fill of children by babysitting, which I love and would hate to have to give up.  I can get my Masters now, start a job I'll actually LOVE!  I would regret it later if I didn't take advantage of these things now, while we still can.

Why do people feel the need to push and push and push you to move on to the next big thing?  I think we should really commend the generation ahead of us (and our own) because I think we're breaking that pattern.  Lots of people are skipping steps, taking the steps backwards, or just completely changing them.  I think we get a lot of criticism for it, but I'm actually very happy with it.

I think our life will be a lot happier because we'll make decisions based on when we're ready and when we want to, no matter how much pushing and shoving there is on either side of the issue.  I'm really glad to finally be able to see that and fully embrace it.  I'll be honest- I wasn't before.

Pst... This is NOT linked up like I normally would, but if you wish you can visit the others here.

Wedded Wednesday- Loving Yourself

Have you visited The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans yet?  Oh no?  Well, I highly recommend it.  They are fabulous women working on a project that we could probably all use a little more of- our health.


What the caha does that have to do with Wedded Wednesday?  They posted a new challenge for the month of October.  I've yet to agree to it, but I plan on it.  Right now, actually.


The challenge is to love yourself.  OH MY GOOD GRACIOUSNESS!  That's asking a lot from me.  That is NOT sarcasm my webby friends.


Still- What the double caha- I made it up, and I like it.  It's meaningless, which means non-offensive -does that have to do with Wedded Wednesday?


My husband is a wonderful man.  He truly is.  He's pretty honest, too.  But probably the most frustrating thing for him in our relationship- me.  I can't take compliments.  I hardly give them.  I'm quick to find flaws and errors and problems without even noticing the blessings, the achievements, or the hard effort which is sometimes the whole point.  I'm a very very very strong willed perfectionist.  I used to see it as a good thing, but the older I get I'm starting to see that I might be wrong on that. Ironic, no?


Something I think a lot of people fail to see in successful relationships is the fact that each individual involved loves themselves.  They have a healthy life because they care about their own interests/achievements/goals.  This is NOT to say that they love themselves too much. That's possible.  It's just that they realize they are just as deserving as the other of their own dreams, goals, interests, time, etc.  It's extremely important in a relationship.  Otherwise you have the problem that my husband and I sometimes have to face.  So here's my huge confession and seriously- I recently told one of my best friends about this not more than a month ago......


I hate don't love myself.


Ok, really?.......... Maybe..... Hard to believe because I'm so freakin' awesome on my blog hahahaha!... I hide it well.  Those closest to me probably know the truth i.e. my mom, my best friends- especially the one I talked to- and my loving husband.  I have a hard time finding this so called middle ground.  I don't like being hard on myself, and logically I know that I do a lot of things really well, and if I don't I honestly try my hardest or have good intentions.  But if I'm nice to myself I feel that either a) I come off as conceited, selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, or just plain self-centered. How many of those words are redundant? or b) I feel like I just sacrificed something more important, like maybe doing something for myself replaced doing something nice for my husband, who deserves it more.  And secretly, I really really really care what others think. Logically, I don't understand why the crap it even matters at all, but the fear of what others think is really a big problem for me.  Why???  See?  I think my own faults are logically, well... stupid and unjustified!

But I'm working on it.  It's very difficult, though, because I see a lot of failures.  I graduated last year and expected life to be more.  I'm not even working with my degree.  I don't honestly enjoy my job, but I can't change until after Mike is settled.  I don't really even like my house.  The result of having a desk job has added to a problem I NEVER had until recently- weight gain.  I gained a good solid 20-25 pounds after leaving band and graduating.  I obviously had the recent issue with pregnancy.  I have time management issues.  Ps I think the laundry buzzed and I forgot... Damn caha.


All of these- and they aren't all completely my fault -I really had a hard time saying that...- are things that I see as flaws.  I nit-pick.  I see all the problems.  I have a hard time getting past them because I can't imagine life being ok, good, right without fixing all those little imperfections.


So here is my pledge.  I'm telling you here and now.  I'm going to change.  I'm going to start loving myself.  I am going to accept compliments.  I am going to believe the compliments and stop finding excuses for why someone is giving them.  I'm going to find one positive every time I see a negative.  I am going to fail.  I'm going to be ok with failing.  I'm going to make a mistake and try not to cry laugh at it.


And also?  I'm going to do the things that make me happy, and work on things to get me healthy again.  But Lynzie, you are healthy!  Actually... eh.  Most laugh when I say I'm fat.  I'm not, ok?  I know.  But I have some areas that I don't like, and I want to stay in the healthy weight range. Believe it or not, I'm actually very close to being overweight.  I'm going to work on it.  Not because I have to.  Because I want to.


And the rest?  I'll get there.  But it's ok if it takes one, five, ten years to do so.  Hell, Caha- I can still be having babies in 10 years, so I have plenty of time, right?


I'm so right.  ;)

PS- After re-reading this post, I come off a lot harsher than I realized... While it's all true, I seriously think it sounds a lot worse than it is.  I'm still sane enough to be happy.  And I realize life isn't going to be perfect- hence the title of the blog.  The general fact is life isn't perfect.  It's the specifics that get me.  And the first step- accepting my faulty perfectionism.  Because it's ok to be a perfectionist.  :)

Getting Away is not the same as Running Away

Hi, everyone!  I'm back, and hopefully starting fresh.  I honestly wanted to "start fresh" on Monday, but I was on a plane, and then I was reunited with my hubby and my puppy and that da** cat.  It just didn't happen.  And then catching up Tues and Wed because I was gone all weekend meant that it didn't happen then, either.  OH WELL!  Here I am.

I went away.  No, literally.  I got up Friday morning nice and early and caught a small little plane to Philadelphia, PA.  I spent about 30 minutes trying to locate my aunt.  Apparently you arrive at the departure entrance to terminal F and then you must take the escalater up to the skywalk, then the skywalk over to the escalator, then the escalator down to the ground again to be at the arrivals exit.  Weird, since no signs told me to do so.  Anywho, I arrived in sunshiny Philadelphia and spent a blissful long weekend with my aunt, uncle, twin cousins, and grandma.  It was heaven.

I mean really... That cup of ice cream?  Divine.  Heaven!  It was chocolate ice cream with reese pieces, cups, and peanut butter in it.  Scrumptious!

The twins ride horses.  They are obsessed with horses, actually.  They're 8.  So Friday I had the liberty of watching their lesson, where they proceeded to jump.  Which I think is scary and I ride horses!  At one point the li'l pony literally RACED to the jump.  I seriously thought Sydney would scream and fall, but no.  She did tremendous!  They both did.

Meanwhile I babysat their puppies.  This pic was NOT taken during the time of my babysitting.  This was the next day, after receiving 3 vaccinations.  They are shepherd mixes.  Beautiful, fun, and intelligent.  I was only slightly jealous.  So was someone else.

I love this guy.  Who incidentally missed me lots.

Anywho, PA.  Right.  We also went riding as a group, and I was reminded of just how much I miss my farm, riding, my own horse, who is now fatter than fat normally allows, and riding in general.  They gave me the fiesty "Sarge".  He was a fat stock horse.  He had an attitude, something about thinking he's the boss?  Guess we know where he gets his name!  He promptly attempted to shove me into every fence we walked past, ate an entire buffet's worth of corn, alfalfa, and just any sort of grass in general, and pretty much refused any suggestion or more of going faster than a walk.  It was a blast!  I loved Sarge.  I was rather jealous of my uncle, though.  They gave him Marshal, a former race horse.  I would have LOVED to get him on the barrel course they had set up!  Or the pole bending.  Oooooooh how awesome that would have been!


Speaking of my awesome uncle, you wouldn't believe what he's found!  

That, my friends, is the original deed or rather a digital copy of the original deed to the farm I grew up on.  Apparently it was originally bought by my seven-times-great-grandfather in 1825.  That there document?  Signed or stamped, it might not actually be his signature by Mr. John Quincy Adams!  How freakin' awesome is that?  I've got to figure out where it is.  I want to see the actual thing!

We also spent the weekend setting up their new classroom.  The girls will be home-schooled this year.  I used to think that was a bad idea.  Until I left Indiana and saw that some parents are intelligent enough to do it correctly.  It looks exciting, and I'm insanely jealous of the girls and coincidentally their mom.  She'll love it too.

And by the end of the 4th day, when I was flying home, I realized I hadn't thought of something for 90% of the trip.  This is probably the exact opposite of what it was like at home.  And while I still think of it quite a bit now that I'm back, it's not so bad or as often.  I'm not as sad, now.  That weekend away really really really ten times over helped me let go.  And while it'll probably always hurt, I was totally ok when my grandmother told me that I don't need to get pregnant.  I was shocked.  and it came out of the blue with a rather negative tone.  I think I even laughed!  Had that happened day one of the trip it happened on the last day I would have burst into tears.

So let's raise our glasses to getting away!  Vacations are just sometimes necessary.  Especially when life gets to be overwhelming.  Now if I could just lose that extra weight... But that's another story in and of itself!

Blogger's Etiquette

This is a really long post.  It's about a serious topic.  It has opinions about other blogs.  I've put a lot of thought into this issue, and to be honest I'm a little late at writing it.  The wounds are probably already closing and I'm probably going to open them back up.  For that I apologize in advance.  Ye be warned.

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I follow a wide variety of blogs.  One of them happens to be O My Family.  A couple weeks back she was discussing some rather serious stuff.  She braved the storm and spilled her heart.

Some other bloggers weren't particularly enlightened.

I've been meaning to write this post for a little while, because I have an opinion.  I have a strong opinion.  But at the same time, I have compassion.  A lot of compassion.  Sometimes these two conflict with each other.  One always wins, but sometimes it's unclear as to which it should be.

On the one hand, you have the blogging world.  We exist for a purpose- to voice what we have to say.  We like to discover what's going on for others, hear see what others have to say, research our own lives via others.  But for the most part we are all a little selfish and just want to have our voices heard.  We have our opinions, and we're going to voice them.  Sometimes they are going to conflict with other blogger's opinions.  It's a tough world, and as such, we bloggers should always be prepared for the criticism that could follow any post of ours.  If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

On the other hand, you have the blogging world.  We blog because we want people to hear what we have to say, and sometimes to feel like we aren't alone in the universe.  Sometimes we need other people to hear our story, in hopes that we can help someone else deal with a similar situation.  It can be a terrifying thing, but posting our own story is very scary.  We are opening up and putting ourselves in a glass house for the whole world to see.  We secretly hope they'll see the best and won't point out all the flaws, because we all have them.  It's not to say we aren't expecting ANY criticism.  We just are hoping to not get it.

In the mix you have our personal worlds.  We live in a physical form and have to choose whether or not we share it with the digital form.  If we choose to share it, how much do we share?  All of it?  Can we get by with only sharing the bare minimum? Because the details are just too much for us to even acknowledge outloud, let alone on the internet.  These are all serious questions, and they can play a big role in how we are received.

Oh, you want my opinion on the subject?

I am 100% for freedom of speech.  HOWEVER.  As a blogger in this community, I personally feel that I want to be more inclusive than exclusive.  I don't always agree with the things I read.  In fact, Allison and I often don't agree (surprise!).  However, I love hearing the other opinion, and sometimes it changes how I view things.  Sometimes I'm completely surprised by what I read.  As such, if there is something I read that I personally don't agree with, or I personally see a flaw in, I'm not going to make that view public.  It infringes on the inclusive vibe.  I will, however, grudgingly agree that anyone else has the unfortunate right to do otherwise.  I fully respect the right to free speech.  I think it's very useful.  I just simply choose not to invoke my right at every moment I disagree.

While we are all prepared for the criticism, as we should be, we're probably hoping not to get a lot of it.  We probably also try to make sure we don't get it, right?  We list things like "please don't take offense" or "warning, here's my opinion" or even "I know I'll hear otherwise, but..." and we try word things as best as possible.

Sometimes the truth is a little more than we want to bare.  They are the wrinkles and sometimes scars that are the reason behind judgment.  Why wouldn't people judge us?  We judge ourselves constantly.  So maybe we choose to leave a few details out.  It's our one protection- we can choose just how much we say or don't say.

But sometimes it acts against us.  Sometimes being a little vague comes off as "I don't have any real details."  And unfortunately this world is very judgmental.  It also jumps to conclusions.  Especially about sensitive topics.  We all seem to forget that a blog doesn't cover the entire story, that sometimes the entire story wasn't made for public eyes.  I unfortunately have to count myself in that category.  Yes, even Miss "I believe in being inclusive and not judging others" has dropped the ball a few times.

I must say I had several opinions on Allison's story.  Some were skepticism, simply because the world we live in tells me I should be skeptic.  The rest were mainly compassionate- 1: I could be wrong with my skepticism, and she deserves my compassion.  2: Even if I'm not wrong, this is obviously a very hard situation for her and she deserves my compassion anyways.  I can now see that the first type is correct, and the skepticism was forever lost.

I wonder if someday I'll be in a similar situation.  I'm new to the blogging world.  I think a LOT about what I put out there.  Am I saying too much?  Can I leave this detail out?  Are my posts too long like this one?  Should I just keep my mouth shut?  Do people want to read any of this?

I seriously hope I never have to deal with it.  But if I'm ever in a situation like that, I will be running to Allison and asking for help.  She did pretty well, in my book.  Her response is actually what totally made my opinion of her and the others.  I have a lot of respect for her.  Not like I didn't before.  It just really set it in stone.

Please, dear 6 readers, if you are still reading help enlighten me.  How do you decide what to share?  How do you decide if you should voice your opinion in response to someone else's?  How do you say "yes this is appropriate" or "no, I'll keep that to myself"?  Please please please enlighten me.  Because I have no idea what the answers are.

To translate or not to translate

I had an epiphany last week.  Every wednesday I sit down to prepare for my Thursday night translating.  That's right.  I translate currently every Thursday night for a program at a library.  It's a 6 week program and tonight will be the 3rd week.  It's a cute program that gathers some families together, feeds them, reads some cute kids books, and then they all discuss them.  Every week there is a theme within the grand theme for the program.  For example, the main theme is animals, but this week's topic is curiosity.  It's very cute and lots of fun, and I have the wonderful opportunity to translate for the Spanish-speaking families that choose to come.

Except none have.  Not one.

But I digress- the epiphany. 

I HATE TRANSLATING.

There.  I said it.  Whew, what a relief.  WHAT????  YOU SPENT ALMOST 5 YEARS GETTING A DEGREE IN SPANISH.  HOW CAN YOU HATE TRANSLATING???? I'm sorry you see it as such.  (Me arguing inevitably with myself).

I love the language.  I love learning languages.  I fully intend to use Spanish every chance I get.  However, there's a major flaw here.  I live in Ohio.  AKA the midwest.  There aren't exactly a lot of immigrants in our neck of the woods.  I've been out of school for over a year, and I'm terrified to use my degree.  why? Because I've lost a lot of it.  Not a ton, but it's worn down quite a bit.  Mainly the accents.  The grammar.  The vocabulary (ay, the vocabulary).  I'm not used to speaking so fast, and hearing it is a little different.  Basically, I'm afraid I've just lost it.

And it shows in my translating.  I'm a little slower.  I have to look up more words.  And, unfortunately, when translating a kid's book which is hard.  YOU try to translate chinny-chin-chin it takes HOURS.  And when translating, I have this weird opinion that I should stick as closely as I can to the original context.  CONTEXT.  That's hard.  There are millions of English phrases that have no equal in Spanish.

My point being, I came to the conclusion I wasted my Undergraduate years.  But that changed, eventually, because I honestly gained so much more from the experience, even if that little piece of paper isn't going to do me much good.  At least that's what I'm hoping.  And having a liberal arts degree will be particularly useful down the road, like when I get accepted into an MLIS program. 

Yup, I plan to go back to school.  I want to be a librarian.  At least this month.  I'm sure next month it'll be something else.  It always changes.

Weekday Babysitting and working from home

In case I've never told you, I moonlight as a babysitter.  Now that I think about it, that was the part of this weekend I forgot to tell you about!  


So I babysat on Sunday recap for a family that flew in from New York for a wedding.  3 kids with the oldest being 5.  The youngest was a teething 10 month old with an ear infection.  Let's say it was very entertaining.  Great kids, which is always amazing.


Something different this week- I was asked to babysit for a couple hours on Wednesday.  Mom had to leave, but Dad wasn't going to be home in time.  So I went.  The trouble is I had to do some translating work!  My new lesson- working at home with 3 kids!!!!


Firstly- MAJOR kudos to those of you who work from home while being a parent.  How do you do it?  I was there for an hour and didn't get more than a few pages translated.  It was fun, but at the same time a little frustrating.  As a babysitter your job is to play with the kids.  That's all I've ever really had to work on while caring for children.  Obviously keeping the house clean is also on the list, but that's never been hard for me.  But working while sitting?  It was a first.  And not nearly as easy as I had hoped.


But a nice little trick?  Cards!!!!  I taught the 2 youngest the art of war.  They tried slap-jack, but to be honest, the older of the two was a lot faster and hit a lot harder.  It didn't work out as well as War.  


Once again- major kudos to you parents who also work at home.  I'd go nuts within a week.

The Youngest Graduates

Tuesday marked a day in history for my family.  Or at least for my generation in the family.  My youngest cousin graduated from high school.


It's funny.  That big important day in all our lives is a right of passage into the world.  Either we move on to a job or another school, but at this point we are on our own in at least some form.  The responsibilities begin.  Most of us had jobs.  We lived on our own or in a dorm, or a ruddy apartment with 4 boys, ya know... the usual.  We grew up, or we chose to hold off and have some fun see spring break, frat parties, and road trips.  We traveled the world and I'll tell you some other time about Buenos Aires and Mérida, Mexico and Negril, Jamaica.


Do you know how awfully cheesy graduation is?  Ok.  Recap.  You dress all 600 students in the WORST outfits possible.  Why?  To make everyone look bad together?  Then you get the band together to play awful music.  And it doesn't matter how good this band is, because playing in an auditorium like that makes ANY band sound horrible.  Finally, you have a few seniors giving speeches.  Sometimes you get amazing speeches.  Sometimes you have good speeches, but the kids are so nervous you can't understand them.  You listen to adults speak (and some are quite good, like the guy we heard).  Finally they name EVERY STUDENT (we're talking 600 names here.  It took an hour, at least).  What's funny is they ask you to hold your applause, but no one ever does.  Then you wait until your kid walks, and then wait for the rest to finish, all the while finding ways to pass the time.  In our case, we watched the heals on the girls and tried to guess who would trip, because let's face it.  Someone always does, and it's usually the girl with the tallest heals.  In this case, we were correct.  We waited for 599 students to walk before the last one stumbled.  


It's a very important day.  True.  It's crucial.  At that age it is the all important finish line simply because it's the first.  Reaching it is key to having a successful life, honestly.  Yet, it's still extremely cheesy.


I'm still very proud of my cousin.  It was a huge moment, and being close to him I know it meant the world to him.  So, hats off to him.  He made it.

2nd post and major shoutout

I have just spent most of my evening learning how to use a program I have had on my computer for over 3 years.


That's right.  3 years.


Ladies and gentlemen, I have a new love.  It's name is Iphoto.


This is all made possible thanks to Rebecca.  Check out her FAQ section question 1.  I never knew I had the tools to create such awesome pictures like these:

You'll notice a few of these from their originals earlier

Healthy Living- Getting Started

The best place to start this new chapter is... well... Getting started, of course!

For all the history buffs
I've always been active.  Always.  I climbed cabinets and dressers as a toddler.  I was riding a bike earlier than I can remember.  I lived on a farm with a garden and lots and lots and lots to do.  My yard was a whole acre.  In school I played soccer at age 6, volleyball in 5th grade, tried track in 6th grade, and played softball all throughout the younger years.  High school was no different- I was in marching band, I rode horses, and I bowled.

College wasn't much different either.  I stayed with band, and still stayed pretty active withOUT all the activities- my campus was rather hilly.  But something happened AFTER college that NO ONE warned me about- the desk job.  I got lazy.  I worked.  I drove home.  I sat on the couch.  I was tired all the time.  I hated getting up.  I gained fifteen pounds!!!

I hated it!  I didn't like the way I looked or felt.  I couldn't fit in my clothes.  I never wanted to do anything.  So I made a change, and it took a long time to get up to where I'm at now- I eat better, I go to the gym at least 3 times a week, and I have several workout videos/plans at home that are gaining dust in the family room.  I also feel more awake, which helps get more accomplished!

Have I lost all 15 pounds?  I have lost.... 7.  But hey, that's half, right?  And I'm on the right track.  Besides, gaining that weight actually wasn't horrible for me.  As long as I stay active.

How did I do it?  I cried.  a lot.  I bought a lot of tools, and then hated myself for it because I didn't use them.  I tried a gym.  Quit the gym.  Tried another.  I learned what a calorie was.  And only THEN did I get the absolute best advice of my life- "just for today"

Have you ever heard of the Biggest Loser?  Season 7 had an amazing run, and there were a few contestants that were unforgettable.  Namely, Tara Costa.  She's awesome.  Down to earth, too.  Her advice is simply this- "Just for today I will....."  Start off small, give yourself a goal "just for today" and pretty soon, you'll be setting habits, and working towards "just this week" or "just this month" (Bob Harper had a great one for April- no pop all month!).

And the last piece of advice- Find a support team.  I have my husband, who LOVES the changes he's seen in me and my attitude.  He's a huge support.  And I have Bob and Tara.  They don't know me, but they are there.  They answer my questions when I send them.  They give tips and inspiration every day.  And they lead me to more knowledge on healthy eating and such so I can make my own choices wisely.  I never knew how ignorant I was!  I thought I ate healthy.  I didn't eat candy, and I hardly drink pop, so I must be doing well, right?  WRONG.  I hardly ate veggies or fruits.  And my serving sizes were WAY TOO BIG!

I am unfortunately not being paid to support the Biggest Loser here (but hey, NBC, if you wanna pay me, I'm up for it!) But I will say that for the cost, their stuff can be worth it.  Their videos are rather extreme (extremelee difficult).  But their cookbook for the family rocks my socks, and the workouts aren't horrible if you have the willpower to do them.  So go out there and do some research and find a "just for today" slogan.

Just for today I will do both cardio and weights at the gym.  Normally my "just for today"s aren't such a huge challenge, fyi... it really is "just for today".  What are you doing "just for today"?

Introducing Healthy Living

I'm going to try to start a new series on here.  (I'm OCD in most ways, and I like organization and patterns.  Series are going to be my thing.  Sorry if you are annoyed by that.  A lot of my friends think it's funny.)  It's a fairly common topic.

HEALTHY LIVING.  This is not a very creative name, so if anyone can think of anything more interesting (and contains my all too favorite characteristic of having Lee in the title... you know, as in replacing "ly" as in Imperfectly?) I would be more than happy to change the name.

The idea will be to write about healthy ways to eat, workout, and maintain that happy lifestyle you already have.  After all, we all can't go on the Biggest Loser and spend 6 months away from our home and job... (I love that show, by the way.  If you haven't ever seen it, take a look with an open mind.  It's inspiring, and the contestants are so down to earth, it's amazing.  I've actually made contact with Tara (season 7) and love her to death.)

I'm not a healthy person per se.  I eat meat. I love skyline. I sit on the couch every night.  Chocolate is my weakness.  But I'm working on it.  Sometimes I get it right, and actually lose weight.  Other times I screw up and gain it back.  Right now, I'm maintaining my weight, which is actually what I want.  Please understand, I am BY FAR no where near being an expert.  These are just tips that I have found to be helpful, inspiring, or practical.  Sometimes I will ask for opinions, so please feel free to share.  Like all things, we can learn and work towards any goals we may have together.

Enjoy.

Into the Mind Behind the Blog

Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs, searching for the right community where I fit in. I have found some remarkable blogs. I have found blogs I love, blogs I hate, interesting blogs, and boring blogs. I have found a group of women that I would love to be a part of. I have found a few of those women to be admirable. I envy some of the things they have in their lives, even. But the most surprising thing that I have found in my search- myself.

Corny, isn't it?

It's true though. I still haven't found that blogging community where I fit in. I found one that I love, and at the same time I know it'll never be for me, because while there are several things I have in common with them, there are a few MAJOR differences. Finding those differences was like having an epiphany, because that's where I learned who I am.

Get to the good stuff, Lynz...

This blog is going to be about my husband and I. We have no quirky nicknames. We are simply Mike and Lynzie. We are 24 and 23, respectively, and while we can't wait for the future to come, we really want to live our lives right now. We aren't wealthy, which has been a hindrance, I'll admit. I'm pretty sure we don't even count as middle class at the moment. Mike is a videographer (freelance) and a production assistant. I'm a jr. accountant. He has found his calling where I have not.

Oh, and maybe this makes us interesting, and I'm sure it'll provide some interesting posts now and then. Mike and I are an interracial couple. Mike is biracial- Chinese and African American. I'm Caucasian. We both love culture, though. He really embraces all aspects of his heritage (even speaks some Mandarin) while I have a love for hispanic culture. My degree is in Spanish (little good that it does me). I also was supposed to get a certificate in Latin American Studies. I earned it. It just never showed up. Some day I'll question that. Haven't gotten around to it yet.

I constantly change my mind. I'm a perfectionist. I start a lot of projects and never finish them. I feel overwhelmed a LOT. So much so that I can sit all day and get nothing accomplished simply because I don't know what to do first. It's an issue. I'm working on it.