100 posts?

Today is my 100th post (ok, so 2 of those aren't published yet, but who's that specific?)

I did a bad thing last night.

I introduced my mom to 16 and pregnant, and as luck would have it the show was Leah's (from teen Mom 2) so I have also introduced her to Teen Mom 2.  I admit I really hate the show.  While I enjoy 16 and pregnant because it has a purpose and serves that purpose well, I think Teen Mom just exploits the problem and really just makes it worse by saying "you're a teen mom!  let's make you famous for screwing up!". 

But none the less, even though my mom was extremely irritated with how immature some of these girls were, she was hooked.  That motherly instinct kicked in (which I swear is the only reason we love shows like these) and sure enough she wanted to see what happens to these girls.

It's officially a guilty pleasure, I think.

Wrapping Up Christmas

Christmas has come and gone and what do you know?  I don't really have any pictures.  I'm awful with taking photos, but I swear I'm going to try to do better in 2011.


Before 2011, though, I'd like to tell you about my amazing Christmas.  


1st- We had Christmas with my mom's side of the family.  Every year we get together and celebrate and eat and are merry.  It's one of my favorite things.  And while this year I didn't have any gifts there, it was a lot of fun seeing so many of my family members and teaching my cousin to knit (in front of everyone... yikes).  Mom was wearing her new scarf that I had made her, and I got to show off my awesomeness.  I'm thinking about making several items and then starting up an Etsy shop.  We'll see.


2nd- My wonderful friends got together for a Christmas party!  It was wonderful.  I got to see so many friends, some that came all the way from the west coast!  We had a secret santa, and I have to say the gift I made was well loved.  I was given a book (big surprise there.  I love me some books).  We ate.  We drank.  We were most definitely merry.  Mike was given a gift card.  That just makes him happy.  And he played video games and made friends.  By the end of the night, he and his drunken buddies declared that there was exactly 1 black man in the room (there were in fact 2 bi-racial gentlemen including Mike).  It was entertaining.


3rd- I had a FIVE DAY WEEKEND!!!!  That's cinco dias my friend.  That's a lot.  I spent them well.  I helped my buddy prepare for the party, cleaned my house (and I mean super cleaned), enjoyed Christmas (after finishing the decorations and wrapping) and really just relaxed!!!!  It was amazing.


4th- Have I mentioned the cookies yet?  NO???  Ok, so I like to bake.  And I have to admit- I got some skills.  So every Christmas I try to make some sweets for Mike to take to work, and my work, and my brothers, and Mike's parents.  I really wanted to make quite as many as I wanted, but I got to bake the Chocolate Chip, Snickerdoodles, Peanut Butter cookies, Sugar cutouts, and Gingerbread Men.  While I didn't quite like all of my recipes, the ones that came out I attached the links for the recipes.  I need to find better ones for the chocolate chip and snickerdoodles.  But the sugar cookies?  The gingerbread men?  A-FREAKIN-MAZING!  LOVED THEM!!!  I froze some of the sugar cookie dough.  Never using another recipe for those.


And while I didn't get to them by Christmas I still plan on baking the pumpkin cookies sometime soon.  WARNING- I haven't tried the recipe yet.


5th- Christmas day was... ok.  Mike worked that morning, so I got up and made him Mike's parents came down for lunch and then we had dinner with the family I babysit for.  They are wonderful, and the father cooked his mother's recipe for pork loin.  The meal was Puerto Rican, and it was delicious!!!!!  And they really are a fun group.  We played games until the kids were falling asleep, and then finally left ourselves.


6th- Dec 26 we had our own Christmas dinner since we had eaten with friends on Christmas day.  I made a delicious glazed ham with mashed potatoes, dumplings, green beans, and rolls.  Someone requested the recipe for the ham. The link can be found here.  I did tweak it to my needs- my ham was only 3 lbs., but I used 10 oz of juice, most of a pineapple, and 3/4 cup of brown sugar.  This way I had more glaze.  :)  It was spectacular.


And then finally on Dec 27 I got to have dinner with my mom and brothers and their respective girlfriends (and my nephew).  We met half way at the Fuji Steakhouse.  It was delicious!  And we got to exchange gifts.  My brother was completely surprised that I could knit.  I was a little peeved, but oh well.  His girlfriend wants the same scarf I made for mom!  :)


So there was the rundown of my Christmas.   It was rather calm this year, but it's mainly because my nephew no longer believes in Santa, and my grandpa wasn't here this year.  Mike worked on Christmas as well.  It was nice, though.  It was our first real Christmas.  We were poor in college, and then last year we bought a house, so we didn't really do gifts.  But this year, we have beautiful decorations and a lovely house to decorate, and thankfully lots of people to celebrate with.


And really, that last part?  Right there?  Yeah, that's really what it's all about.  The family and the friends to share it all with.


Happy Holidays, everyone!

2 years

2 years ago today I was in Mexico.  We were in Celestun- in the Yucatan, close to Merida.  We spent the day doing 3 things- a tour of a factory...

a boat ride in a flamingo reserve...

And I mean LOTS. OF. FLAMINGOS

and an evening at a slightly chilly beach. 

I was making new friends, and using my mad-Spanish skills (I was the one of 3 fluent speakers on the trip, so naturally I was popular), and we ended the day sitting on a beach drinking Corona and watching mine explode because the salt shaker lid broke right as I added some to my tasty drink.

We laughed about the alligator/crocodile on the rocks that scared Ben so badly.  We still never determined whether it was real or fake.  You decide.

We played in the water, and let the fishies nibble at our toes.  Afterwards we returned to our hotel with the beautiful patio in the middle and talked about how my first trip to the ocean went.

It was by far one of the most memorable days of my life.  Mexico, and the friendships forged there will never be forgotten.  But little to my knowledge, on that very special day while I was visiting the ocean for the first time...

This little guy was being born.  A bajillion miles away. 

I wouldn't meet him for almost 3 more months.  But that day?  December 15?  It was special without me knowing it.

I love that little guy.  Happy birthday, Romeo





Oh the Turkey

When I was little and my grandma lived within yelling distance, we would always eat Thanksgiving dinner at her house.  And all day long, while cooking this delicious turkey (it really was amazing), she would call it "turkey lurkey".

I swear, it's been in my head all freakin' week.  "Turkey Lurkey".  I think it has something to do with the chick who claimed the sky was falling.  (I'm not joking, it was this tiny little "I Can Read" book from my childhood about a chick baking bread and the sky falling)

Anyways, there I was about a week ago facing the prospect of cooking a turkey.  A 12 lbs turkey that my husband received from his previous employer for free.  A turkey that would have to travel 1 1/2 hours to it's final destination before being consumed by 4 strapping young men, a growing 9 year old (also boy), and 3 girls who could have starved wilst we were eaten out of the house.

I was nervous.

So I looked online and found an amazing recipe.

And then I prepped.  I bought the turkey (for $0.68).  I bought the supplies.  I figured out a way to get him into the fridge to wait its fate for 6 days.  Saturday rolled around and I even brined the turkey.  I had difficulties finding all the parts that I was supposed to pull out (never did find those giblets.  I don't think I even want to know what "giblets" are!).  I miraculously fit the turkey into a stock pot with the brine.  That never fit in my fridge.  Thankfully it was cold outside, so poor old turkey slept in the garage while drowning in brine.

And then Sunday came along (I ate thanksgiving twice.  Sunday was my day with my brothers and mom).  I got up, I reviewed the recipe.  I pulled the turkey out of the brine and cleaned it up.  I proceeded to force myself NOT to cry when I noticed I had broken the poor thing's wing.  I scratched my head about where those stupid giblets were.  I texted my mom.  I called my mom.  I gave up.  I chopped vegetables and stuffed the turkey in ways that'll give me nightmares.  I again forced myself NOT to cry at the mere thought.  I placed the turkey in the pan and shoved it in the oven.  At this point I have drowned the bird, tortured the bird, attempted to give it hypothermia (hyper?  hypo?), and then shoved it into a burning hell.  I drank a glass of wine.  At 10:30 am.

The veggies inside burned.  I don't know why.  I had to keep shoveling them out because they were black and I didn't want my turkey tasting like burnt.  I'm worried at this point.

At 3/4 the way through cooking I flip it over.  Do you know how to flip a 12 lbs dead bird that's too hot to touch in a PAN that's too hot to touch?  Neither do I.  But I had those turkey turner thingies.  So I did my best and eventually succeeded. 

And then 4 hours into cooking, we should have left 30 minutes ago, and this damn bird is still not done.  I really want to cry.  What the hell, bird?  I'm calling my mom.  I'm stewing and scratching and pacing.  I realize "Oh... I should have put it in a bag.  Maybe the one I bought specifically for this occasion."  Oh well.  I cover it with foil. 

And finally it finishes.  That popper thingy pops out.  I do a happy dance.  I'm still worried, though, because before we wrap it to leave I pull out MORE burnt vegetables.

But no turning back at this point- 1 1/2 hours to drive and we're running very late.  Off we go.

We were starving, and driving for 1 1/2 hours with a cooked turkey is absolute torture.  TORTURE.

Finally we get there, and my brother takes another 30 minutes to arrive, and eventually we can eat.  My brother goes to carve the turkey.  And finds the giblets (in a bag, thankfully).  Good grief.  I looked everywhere in that damn bird, and he finds them in minutes.  Who puts them in the neck????

So we eat.  And it tastes delicious!!!!  I wanted to dance it was so good.  In your face, father! (No, he wasn't there, but he's always said I couldn't cook... I would love to shove my turkey in his face and then rub in some salt with "didn't your wife burn her sweet potatoes this year???")  I'm so mean.

What a wonderful Thanksgiving!  We really had a great time.  We played games and Mike had fun with Dallas, and Romeo was as happy as a clam (my brother snuck him turkey).  It really was something to treasure.

And then we came home to dishes.  A pile so high we didn't even have clean silverware.  It was bad.

But in all the mess, while washing the turkey turner thingies, I noticed... One had lost it's rubber prong cover.  Hmmm.... It was there when I turned the turkey... I sure hope no one ate it!!!!!

And THAT my friends, is how you cook a turkey.  Can't wait to do it again next year.

This year I am thankful for...

1.  Family- I have the most wonderful support system I've ever seen!  A lot of people think we're a little weird, though.  We have a lot of different relationships.  Oh, and the hubs.  He's just amazing.  Of course the pets count too.  This list is too big to go into detail, but there's my mom, my two brothers, my husband, the cat and dog, my 4 uncles and 4 aunts, my 5 grandmothers, my 7 cousins... I don't believe any of them have ever NOT been there for me.  Also, for the sake of keeping you sane and because technical titles never matter anyways, I simplified several titles.  Oh, and this isn't even counting all the in-laws.  There are tons, and they are just as special.


2.  Friends- My phone was ringing off the hook with all the love.  Although there were a few interesting tweets as well "I'm supposed to do WHAT to the turkey???"


3.  My house- I had abundant room for house guests, and while not all ended up staying, we were very comfortable.  We had ample space for cooking (kind of) with nice new appliances (pretty new at least).  The house isn't always as warm as we'd like, but it'll do.  And it's full of our lives- our things with our memories.


4.  My car- you know, the one that had a water bottle get crushed under the back seat, and this morning had a HUGE WATER PUDDLE all across the back?  Yeah.  That car.


5.  My job (and Mike's)- Even though we both had to work today (he's still there) I will say we are rather lucky to have our jobs.  And I did get to leave early, after all.


6.  My new school!  I am so thankful that I got into grad school (and I got the loans needed as well!).  I just hope I can be registered for classes ASAP.  I've already emailed the advisor AND financial aid AND put myself on a few waitlists.


7.  The food we ate- it was delicious.  My mashed potatoes are by far one of my favorites.  And mom's dumplings.  yum!  And turkey, of course.  Too bad there weren't any leftovers (of the turkey).  We devoured a 23 lbs turkey.  Can you believe it?


8.  My health- I managed well yesterday, and I still feel healthy.  I didn't overeat, and I want to exercise.  I see way too many people who just don't care, and it's sad.


9.  My ambidexterity- I think it's a big help with my knitting.  This means I can make some pretty awesome gifts for some pretty awesome people!


10. My time- I'm considering doing some volunteer work this winter, but I haven't decided where.  Gotta do some research!


Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  I hope yours was as amazing as mine!

Menu Monday- On a Tuesday

It occured to me that I do this a lot- write a post a day late, ya know?

It also occured to me that I don't think I've blogged much lately besides our menu.  I will work on that.

Today's budget sucked.  I went over for Thanksgiving, but there were things I hadn't predicted like a roasting pan for the turkey I didn't know I was cooking.  Oh what's that?  Why yes, I am actually cooking my first turkey.  Ever.  I also needed wine for my turkey and myself.  (who doesn't, right?)

Ok, so the menu:

Monday- we had leftover pot roast!
Tuesday- Maple Glazed Chicken with rice and veggies
Wednesday- Chicken Alfredo
Thursday- Thanksgiving will be at my aunt's house with the usual turkey, spoonbread, green beans, dumplings, sweet potatoes, green stuff, jello salad, rolls, and of course pumpkin pie.  I will be making the mashed potatoes and the apple dumplings (a delicious dessert).
Friday- Leftovers, anyone?
Saturday breakfast- Waffles and smoothies!!!!
Saturday dinner- Probably more leftovers.  But if not, we have stuff to make chicken sandwiches.
Sunday breakfast- Biscuits, bacon, eggs, and fruit
Sunday dinner- Thanksgiving again!  Dinner with my brothers, where I will be making the turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving, folks!

Remembering and Supporting

Remember back in August when I told you about the awful tragedy(ies) that my family went through?

It sucked.  But you know what else sucks?

I lost two followers that day.  I break the worst news of my life online and two of my followers decide that whatever it was at that time, that was the tipping point, and they were done with me.

I honestly couldn't even tell you who they were, but seriously?  It upset me a little.  I blog because I want to connect.  I want support.  I want to know more people in this world, and I want to be able to share my opinions and stories with others.

Secretly, we're all attention whores.  At least I am.

So I'm going to share something else with you, pretty much dead on the same subject, and I'm curious to see the reaction. 

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  That's a pretty long title, if you ask me.  How about we call it Remembrance Day?  A day to remember all of our babies.  And by baby, it could be anyone from just starting off in the womb to a 57 year old son of an 80 year old grandparent.  Because we are all someone's baby.

I lost my baby on August 16.  I never got to see a face, or even a heartbeat.  The only picture I saw was on the day we found out it had already left us.  But the big shocker?  I know a BAJILION women (and men) who have suffered the same loss.  I just never knew it.  Until this year I never knew there was an official remembrance day, or a tradition known as the International Wave of Light.

I think everyone should know.  And don't sit there and say "Good God when will this woman get off her freakin' soap box about this and move on?".  I guarantee you know someone who's suffered as I have.  Or someone who's lost a son, or a daughter to some other fight- be a physical injury, an ailment, or just God's will.

At first I wasn't going to mention it.  I'm not even mentioning it on my facebook.  Most of my friends don't know what I've gone through, mainly because I can't stand being pitied.  It's such a taboo subject, and everyone seems to think it should be forgotten in a matter of weeks.  I was afraid to mention it even here, mainly because I want to be the funny happy blogger with the quirky attitude.  I was afraid of losing more of my very small number of followers.

I'm not so poetic.  So you should take a look here and here.  These women write it much better and they even have a list.  If you truly want to see the impact miscarriage and loss has, you should start there.  The stories break your heart.

And please, please.  I can't re-iterate this enough.  I'm not upset.  Or suffering.  Even though I don't think we ever stop mourning our losses, I'm not still "grieving" as most people see it.  I have moved on in my life.  But I will always remember.  Will anyone else?

Getting Away is not the same as Running Away

Hi, everyone!  I'm back, and hopefully starting fresh.  I honestly wanted to "start fresh" on Monday, but I was on a plane, and then I was reunited with my hubby and my puppy and that da** cat.  It just didn't happen.  And then catching up Tues and Wed because I was gone all weekend meant that it didn't happen then, either.  OH WELL!  Here I am.

I went away.  No, literally.  I got up Friday morning nice and early and caught a small little plane to Philadelphia, PA.  I spent about 30 minutes trying to locate my aunt.  Apparently you arrive at the departure entrance to terminal F and then you must take the escalater up to the skywalk, then the skywalk over to the escalator, then the escalator down to the ground again to be at the arrivals exit.  Weird, since no signs told me to do so.  Anywho, I arrived in sunshiny Philadelphia and spent a blissful long weekend with my aunt, uncle, twin cousins, and grandma.  It was heaven.

I mean really... That cup of ice cream?  Divine.  Heaven!  It was chocolate ice cream with reese pieces, cups, and peanut butter in it.  Scrumptious!

The twins ride horses.  They are obsessed with horses, actually.  They're 8.  So Friday I had the liberty of watching their lesson, where they proceeded to jump.  Which I think is scary and I ride horses!  At one point the li'l pony literally RACED to the jump.  I seriously thought Sydney would scream and fall, but no.  She did tremendous!  They both did.

Meanwhile I babysat their puppies.  This pic was NOT taken during the time of my babysitting.  This was the next day, after receiving 3 vaccinations.  They are shepherd mixes.  Beautiful, fun, and intelligent.  I was only slightly jealous.  So was someone else.

I love this guy.  Who incidentally missed me lots.

Anywho, PA.  Right.  We also went riding as a group, and I was reminded of just how much I miss my farm, riding, my own horse, who is now fatter than fat normally allows, and riding in general.  They gave me the fiesty "Sarge".  He was a fat stock horse.  He had an attitude, something about thinking he's the boss?  Guess we know where he gets his name!  He promptly attempted to shove me into every fence we walked past, ate an entire buffet's worth of corn, alfalfa, and just any sort of grass in general, and pretty much refused any suggestion or more of going faster than a walk.  It was a blast!  I loved Sarge.  I was rather jealous of my uncle, though.  They gave him Marshal, a former race horse.  I would have LOVED to get him on the barrel course they had set up!  Or the pole bending.  Oooooooh how awesome that would have been!


Speaking of my awesome uncle, you wouldn't believe what he's found!  

That, my friends, is the original deed or rather a digital copy of the original deed to the farm I grew up on.  Apparently it was originally bought by my seven-times-great-grandfather in 1825.  That there document?  Signed or stamped, it might not actually be his signature by Mr. John Quincy Adams!  How freakin' awesome is that?  I've got to figure out where it is.  I want to see the actual thing!

We also spent the weekend setting up their new classroom.  The girls will be home-schooled this year.  I used to think that was a bad idea.  Until I left Indiana and saw that some parents are intelligent enough to do it correctly.  It looks exciting, and I'm insanely jealous of the girls and coincidentally their mom.  She'll love it too.

And by the end of the 4th day, when I was flying home, I realized I hadn't thought of something for 90% of the trip.  This is probably the exact opposite of what it was like at home.  And while I still think of it quite a bit now that I'm back, it's not so bad or as often.  I'm not as sad, now.  That weekend away really really really ten times over helped me let go.  And while it'll probably always hurt, I was totally ok when my grandmother told me that I don't need to get pregnant.  I was shocked.  and it came out of the blue with a rather negative tone.  I think I even laughed!  Had that happened day one of the trip it happened on the last day I would have burst into tears.

So let's raise our glasses to getting away!  Vacations are just sometimes necessary.  Especially when life gets to be overwhelming.  Now if I could just lose that extra weight... But that's another story in and of itself!

Taking a quick break

I know it's been over a week.  I apologize.  The idea behind this blog is to discuss happy things, and we've had some major issues of our own and I'm not quite down with bringing everyone down.

For a quick re-cap, though, if you are at all interested, we found out last Monday about the miscarriage.  However, there were complications, so I had to go in for a quick surgical visit THIS Monday to clear up some issues.  For the record- between the fear of the complications and the pain of the loss, last week was probably the worst week of my life.

That's in the past now.  To be honest, I might not feel so good now had I not had last week to compare this week to.  It's been bad as well.  Unfortunately whilst I was in surgery on Monday my grandfather passed away.

PLEASE don't go thinking I'm running emo on you and turning into a depressed sour puss, but it's just been a little rough.  In all fairness, however, I must say that my grandfather has been extremely sick for a very long time.  He's been in and out of hospitals, rehab, nursing facilities, more hospitals, etc etc for going on 4 years now.  He was doing pretty well until about March, I'd say, but since has been in quite a lot of pain and really taken a turn for the worse.  It's almost a relief to see that he has passed on and is no longer in pain.  We will certainly miss him, though.  He always had a smile and a wink.  He told everyone just how good lookin' they were.  He always had a laugh, and he LOVED his Reds.  I hope they continue to kick butt this year, just for him.

Basically life has been a little chaotic lately.  I'm going to probably not write for another week, but when I come back I promise to be on cue for happiness and the fun quirks of life, simply because it has to go on.  It does go on.  Who knows, maybe I'll even have an organized plan for my blog!!!!  We'll see... we'll see...  Oh, and I'll have pictures.  I promise.

You never think it will be you

We say this about just about everything.  Car accidents.  Losing your loved ones.  Athletic accidents.  Even good things like championships.  Setting records.  Even finding the love of your life, especially after a bad heartbreak.


But no matter how often it's applied, it's always true.  You really never think it could happen to you.  The idea is just simply unfathomable.


Unfortunately, it has to be you sometimes.  Statistically speaking it has to be someone, and what makes you any different from the next guy?


I turned 24 on Friday.  For my birthday, we had a doctor's appointment.  We were supposed to hear a heartbeat.  That beautiful sound that acknowledges there is something indeed growing inside of you.  They couldn't find one, though.  No worries.  I've gained weight, my blood and all the other tests are great.  It's probably just earlier in the pregnancy than we thought.


Just in case, though, they scheduled an ultrasound for today.  And it turns out they were wrong.  There is no heartbeat, and the baby stopped growing approximately 3 weeks ago.  For no apparent reason, I have yet to actually miscarry, but it's going to happen within the next week.  If it doesn't, then I'll have to have a D&C, which if you don't know, they will go in surgically and remove what should have naturally left on its own.


As emotional as this is, I'm thinking I've cried it out, and can hopefully move on.  I've never felt so sad, but unlike what the pamphlet says (who the hell writes that thing?  They obviously don't know JACK SHIT about losing a baby.) I don't feel guilty.  I know it's not my fault, that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.  I'm confident we can still have children, and we will be trying again.  Hind sight is 20/20, and to be honest, it felt too good to be true.  I don't think I ever really fully accepted that I was going to be a mom.  Something just never sank in.  I never connected with "baby".  I'd like to think it was for this reason, but hind sight is certainly 20/20.  Had I not had the ultrasound today I would never consider that thought.


I think I'm more afraid of the miscarriage now.  Is this going to hurt?  How long until it happens?  How long until I recover?  I'm honestly a "cry it out and move on" type of gal.  I don't like waiting.  I have about 10 lbs to lose now.  I want to be healthy again.  I want my house to be clean again.  I want life to go back to normal again.


Please?

Summertime goals- Learning to Golf

Last winter my mom gave me a beautiful set of golf clubs for Christmas.  They are a gorgeous bright pink and the nice part- some of the proceeds goes to breast cancer research.  (They are the Wilson Hope Set.  Ignore the price, we paid a lot less.  AND the darker pink that's not so pretty in the picture?  It's kind of purple-ish and so much prettier in person).

Anywho, I'm not exactly a golfer.  I played my first round last fall using a combination of my brother's clubs and a friend's clubs.  I loved it, but I wasn't that great.  Who is, though?  At least when they start.  Seriously, this game is hard!

So to fix the problem at hand, I got clubs for Christmas and then took a beginner class this summer with my mom.  OMG what fun!!!!  I learned a TON!  I can't wait to actually USE those skills, but... hey... on a driving range I look pretty good!  (Who am I kidding?  I probably still look like a beginner, but I can tell I've improved).

I'm so excited about how much I learned this summer, and it's nice to say that I actually accomplished something.  I spent my whole life loving summers (summer vacations, time off from school, even my summer job) and now it seems like they just don't exist any more.  The seasons are merely an annoyance (heat.  cold.  ice.  rain.)

Happy summer experiences, everyone!

The Dreaded Father's Day

I wrote this post a couple weeks ago, but couldn't post it immediately.  It's a delicate subject, ya know?


About 3 years ago my Dad's company held their bi-annual company picnic at King's Island.  As someone who was working there, I managed to wiggle my schedule enough that I would at least get to see him that morning (July was by far the busiest month at the park).  Mike and I spent all morning with them.  We split up pretty early, and it just felt odd.  I mean, I had to obtain Mike's ticket- my dad found an excuse for not getting him one.  Everyone knew how tense Dad was about me dating someone who wasn't (and still isn't) white.


That was the last time I saw my Dad.


I was having a birthday party in a month and everyone at the party already knew I was moving in with Mike in September.  Everyone except my Dad.  So a few weeks after the trip to KI, I called him up and let him know.  It didn't go over so well.  We yelled, we got disconnected, he called back and yelled at me for hanging up on him (I was driving- I went through a bad signal spot).  We yelled some more.  He hung up on me.  I called him back 4 times.  Finally his wife answered and said he didn't want to speak to me.


I could sit here and say I was absolutely shocked.  But unfortunately that would be a lie.  I was totally expecting it.  Doesn't mean that the actual words didn't hurt.  They still hurt today.  You wouldn't believe how many different ways I've learned to cope with the pain.


6 months later Mike proposed.  I wrote my Dad a letter.  I told him about it, and told him how much I missed him, and asked him to participate.  That Mike and I were an Us now.  Not just me.  He wrote back and turned every nice thing I said into something hateful.  He was mean.  I gave up.  I responded with every thought that I had formed and told him how awful he was for doing this.


1 year and 6 months later- It's Father's Day (oh how I hate this day).  One of my best friends was married 2 days earlier, Mike's best man was married the day before.  Our wedding was in 5 days.  It was my last shot- I called him.  It went exactly as I had expected.  He shot me down.  He even had the nerve to say "Had I voiced my opinions sooner, maybe things could have been different."


I hate Father's Day.  Today marks the 1 year anniversary of that horrible call.


But today is going to be different.  We're starting new holidays for us.  Not ones where we celebrate our own Father's, but one where we celebrate us as parents.

Happy Father's-To-Be Day, Mike.  I love you.  And yes, I'm terrified.


This also explains the lack of posts lately.  Because, quite frankly, when you have one big thing on your mind, it's hard to NOT write a post about it.  Now that I have, I will try my best to keep my blog from being over-run with pregnancy posts.  Please keep in mind I said TRY.

Playing Hooky to See the Butterflies

Yesterday was the last day for the annual Butterfly show here in Cincy.  It comes once a year, and you can see all these gorgeous butterflies.  This year we teamed up with Japan for an absolutely exquisite bunch of butterflies!

But with Mike working EARLY mornings on Sundays, I had no one to go with.  So Carrie played hooky, and we went and enjoyed the butterflies.  We did NOT enjoy the heat.  It was still worth it, though.

They were very stunning, even though the pics don't show them so well.  They're actually very busy creatures and hardly rest at all!  There were so many different colos, though!  Blues, Oranges, Reds, Blacks, Purples, Whites... and some were striped like tigers while others were brilliant on one side and then dark on the other. 

There were several kids enjoying the show too, which I though was fun to watch, but difficult.  They like to touch, and butterflies can't be touched.  There was this adorable girl, though!  A butterfly loved her bandana so much it just rode around on her head all the way through the exhibit.

And that was our Dad's day.  Carrie's dad is in Texas, and I don't honestly have a Dad anymore, so... For us it really wasn't much special.  What did you do, though?  I'd love to hear your stories!

Married Mannerisms

"I'm thinking of dying my hair brunette.  Opinions?" Says me


"To match you're eyebrows maybe?" Says husband.

The Youngest Graduates

Tuesday marked a day in history for my family.  Or at least for my generation in the family.  My youngest cousin graduated from high school.


It's funny.  That big important day in all our lives is a right of passage into the world.  Either we move on to a job or another school, but at this point we are on our own in at least some form.  The responsibilities begin.  Most of us had jobs.  We lived on our own or in a dorm, or a ruddy apartment with 4 boys, ya know... the usual.  We grew up, or we chose to hold off and have some fun see spring break, frat parties, and road trips.  We traveled the world and I'll tell you some other time about Buenos Aires and Mérida, Mexico and Negril, Jamaica.


Do you know how awfully cheesy graduation is?  Ok.  Recap.  You dress all 600 students in the WORST outfits possible.  Why?  To make everyone look bad together?  Then you get the band together to play awful music.  And it doesn't matter how good this band is, because playing in an auditorium like that makes ANY band sound horrible.  Finally, you have a few seniors giving speeches.  Sometimes you get amazing speeches.  Sometimes you have good speeches, but the kids are so nervous you can't understand them.  You listen to adults speak (and some are quite good, like the guy we heard).  Finally they name EVERY STUDENT (we're talking 600 names here.  It took an hour, at least).  What's funny is they ask you to hold your applause, but no one ever does.  Then you wait until your kid walks, and then wait for the rest to finish, all the while finding ways to pass the time.  In our case, we watched the heals on the girls and tried to guess who would trip, because let's face it.  Someone always does, and it's usually the girl with the tallest heals.  In this case, we were correct.  We waited for 599 students to walk before the last one stumbled.  


It's a very important day.  True.  It's crucial.  At that age it is the all important finish line simply because it's the first.  Reaching it is key to having a successful life, honestly.  Yet, it's still extremely cheesy.


I'm still very proud of my cousin.  It was a huge moment, and being close to him I know it meant the world to him.  So, hats off to him.  He made it.

My Almost Panic Attack

Confession: I have never had a panic attack, so tell me if I'm wrong and I wasn't close to one.


So Mike and I have a baby bug. Eek!! We are a little short on cash so, although we are leaning toward baby Eek again!!! we are still working on making sure the finances are locked down.  It's looking ok.  It's not 100% perfect, but the worst case scenario is doable.  And that's the worst case.  Best case scenario we're great.


So I'm at lunch and I'm chatting about the idea of having a baby and the money involved with a friend who is a stay at home mother of 2 whose husband is currently stationed in Afghanistan coming home in a week or so!!!! She's all for the baby.  She says we'll figure it out.  I agree. She tells me how I'll get tons of diapers at the shower and how I should look into the WIC, who will help with formula.


WTF?!?!?!?!?


WARNING:  I plan on sharing my opinion and you might not agree with me.


I am all about having federal and state help for families in need.  There are a lot of reasons to need help, and you never know when it could be you.  I fully support such programs because no matter who you are, what you do, where you've been YOU DESERVE A HEALTHY LIFE!!!! Your BABY deserves a healthy life.  I think it is the responsibility of a community (hear: county, state, country) to help those in need because a community is only as healthy as the citizens that make it up.  I also support universal healthcare.  Being healthy should be a fundamental right.  Not a privilege.


That being said, I am 110% NOT OK with planning to have a baby thinking you might need help from the government.  It is completely irresponsible.  It is 100% your job as a parent to make sure you can afford a family BEFORE you choose to have one.  Yes, things happen.  Fate has other plans.  Karma catches up with you.  This is why I agree with help programs.  However, you should NEVER PLAN to need help.  That's not what the help is for!


How do you respond to a statement like that?  Here's what I did.  I panicked.  I started thinking, what if my planning is off?  What if we aren't as ready as we think we are financially?  What if something goes wrong?  OMG what if we end up needing help? I checked, by the way.  We make too much money for WIC, which is actually a comfort to me. This thought process got me to the point of a racing heart, chest pains, blurred vision, hyperventilation and almost tears.  I did eventually calm down with some help of my loving husband and wonderful BFF.


This isn't the first time I've heard this sort of atrocity, however.  A few years ago, walking on campus I overheard a girl say she was "thinking about getting pregnant, because you know the government will pay for college" (in other, less grammatically correct believe it or not words)


Has any of you seen or heard of this?  I'm not naive (no sirree).  I know this goes on all the time.  I never EVER expected to have someone suggest it to me, though.  Have you?

Belated Mother's Day

So I seem to have suffered a minor case of writer's block.  And the perfectionist in me has a few issues with the fact that I have about a million ways to write this post and about a million others to choose from for writing posting.

The blessing is that I've had that chance to read about everyone else's Mother's Day!  And I've seen some pretty good ones, like the emotionally uplifting to the rather sad (both by the same writer, I know.  I love her writing).  I've also witnessed a few Mother's Days from a few people.  Sometimes it's a challenge to find time, like my roommate who works 1 pm to 10 pm.  Sometimes it's just a phone call, like with Mike's mom, who lives 4 hours away.  And sometimes, it's hilarious, entertaining, and fun-filled, like mine.

I didn't buy my mom anything.  WHAT?!?!?!?! I know.  It might be sad, but my mom is... different.  She hates gifts.  She loves spending time with me (and my brothers).  She's my best friend, after all.  We work together, so we see each other 5 days a week.  So what did we do for Mother's Day?  Mike came up with a brilliant idea- let's go to the zoo!

But first, the best gift you could give her- All 6 of us kids took her to dinner (3 children, 3 significant others).  My brothers work at a casino.  They work different hours and ALWAYS work holidays.  We never get together all at the same time.  The last time was my wedding, actually.  10 months ago.

My mom LOVES the zoo!  And since we love our family, we ALL went.  My grandma, 2 aunts, 2 of my cousins, one of their significant others, her sister and HER fiance, my mom, Mike and I.  We spent a good while there.  My mom was the child of the group "I wanna see the birds.  I don't wanna sit down and eat.  I came to see the animals!"  haha.  We had so much fun!!!  I love our zoo.  If you are ever in Cincy, you really should make time to go, because it's wonderful!  We can feed the giraffes, hold the birds, chase the peacocks, eat Graeter's ice cream or Skyline chili (2 other big Cincy favorites!).

And did I take pictures for you?  Of course!!!!  not.  I tried!!!!  I swear I did.  I even brought my camera and took a few snapshots!  But then my battery died.  So to appease the crowd, I added some pics from one of our last trips.

Peacocks lived at the Cincy Zoo before it was the Cincy Zoo.

We can feed the Giraffes!!!!

Elephants are one of my faves- they always seem to be smiling.

We have 2 pairs of white lions- 2 male and 2 female.  Isn't he magnificent?  He was roaring on Sunday.

These Meerkats were super active!  I was lucky to get this shot!!!

There were babies!!!!  But they were sleeping behind a rock- not easy to see.

These 2 manatees were released into the wild in November or December.  We now have 2 more babies that were rescued.

Flamingoes!!!!  And no, they don't turn pink from eating shrimp, it's something that develops with age.  They are born white.

AND this is what I looked like FOR the zoo.  I love my hat, and my glasses looked pretty awesome with the outfit, I must say (new to glasses... I'm still getting used to seeing them on me.)