Wedded Wednesday- When Sickness Sinks In

Mike... Is sick.


You see, Saturday was the last home football game of the season.  If you remember, we always go.


Except Saturday it was snowing.  It snowed early, and snowed all day.  And it was freakin' cold.  I stayed home.


But Mike- he went.  He kind of has to.  It's kind of his job to record things, and the last game is Senior Night for the band.


And as a result- he's sick.  But not like normal sick.  Oh no, this time, he can't stay home, and he has 2 jobs.  I haven't been able to take care of him, because he works while I'm at home, and I work while he's at home.


It's kind of been a sort of torture.  I hate not being able to take care of him.  I hate that I sit there wondering how he's feeling, and hoping he doesn't feel guilty because he can't do things, or hoping that he's not doing things because he really shouldn't.


And the worst of all?  Mike never gets sick.  So if he was able to catch this, then I will most definitely catch this.  He never gets sick!  I do every year.  This just isn't looking good for me.

Wedded Wednesday (Thursday again)- Birthday time!

I did not post this last night because I was enjoying the evening with my husband instead.  It was his day after all.

My hubs hit 25 yesterday.  TWENTY FIVE!  Do we officially count as adults now?  Because seriously.  I could vent a HUGE ONE about all the "you're too young" problems I have.

Tangent aside, it was a great day, minus the present.  Last year we were in the process of buying a house.  So instead of a birthday gift, we said the house was the big gift and I made a cake and decorated the apartment with $1 ribbon and balloons.  It was sad, and I felt bad, but it's all we could do.

So this year I wanted to make up for it.  I spent $100 on his gift (which is twice the normal range).  I went out and splurged on a super awesome Oreo ice cream cake that I just KNEW he'd love.  I even planned to make his favorite dinner.

So yesterday showed up nice and cold on our front door step.  I sent him the Good Morning Happy Birthday text (because we don't see each other in the mornings).  And then I hoped that JUST MAYBE his gift would arrive today while I was at work.

Nature gave Michael a gift in the mean time- snow.  The first snow of the season.

2 pm comes and I realize that I forgot to start his crockpot dinner this morning... Well shit.

4:30 rolls around... No gift.  No email saying the guy I bought it from off of ebay has even shipped it yet.  Nada.

So I head home, and promptely cook what is normally a crockpot meal via stove.  It was actually pretty good, I must say.  Dinner was Chicken and Dumplings with broccoli and peaches.  Followed by amazing Oreo ice cream cake.  Michael was in heaven.  :)  And he got to open 2 birthday cards, so he at least had something.

I told him what his gift was, and he's super excited for it to arrive, but I'm honestly starting to worry that the guy scammed me.  He had an excellent rating from all the people who had bought from him, though.  Maybe it was all a hoax?  I'm worried, but I put it on paypal with my credit card, so to be honest, I still can complain and get my money back.  I'm just nervous and I really wanted that ipod.  I'm hoping he just shipped it instead of emailing me.  Only time will tell I guess.

Happy birthday, Michael!

Wedded Wednesday- Stay at home dads???

Disclaimer- we have no children, in case you are new.  This is mostly hypothetical.

So Mike is officially back to working only 1 part time job.  He wants to get a second one asap, but I'd prefer he doesn't.  I didn't get to see him at all, and to be honest we can survive a little while without it.  Not to make things difficult for us, but sometimes time is worth more than money, ya know?

So on that note, somewhere down the lines I had been discussing the options of having a baby with a few people, and I was absolutely shocked when they ALL made it very clear that the dad HAS TO have a full time job.  Period.

Now, to be honest, I kind of agree KIND OF.  I would prefer to be a stay at home mom some day.  Or work from home.  Or have a small part time job.  Whatever it takes so that I'm the one at home with the kids.  However, I'm very realistic, and I don't see that happening.  I honestly see both Mike and I working full time while raising our kids.  And I'm not opposed to daycare at all- in fact, if you find the right one, it can be the best thing you do for your child.  A lot of them help teach kids the social graces of life.  And they get a jump start on their education, which I'm all about.  Not that I couldn't do that on my own, but a girl's got a lot to do already, you know?

The one option that's more realistic at the moment, however, is Mike staying at home and keeping his part time job.  IF and this is a BIG IF we were to get pregnant now, it might even be more beneficial for Mike to NOT get a full time job.  He works third shift.  I sleep while he's working.  He sleeps while I'm working.  We're both home in the evenings.  With a little adjusting, we could actually raise a child without daycare this way.  It would work well, especially since I carry the health insurance and I have disability leave, etc etc. 

Why is it, though, that this idea just absolutely HORRIFIED these women?  I mean, the answer was very much, unabashedly, big fat in your face NO WAY IN HADES.  I was really shocked.  I thought in today's world that more people would be more open minded.  And the reasons were pretty vague.  Maybe they just didn't want to work?  I just don't get it. 

Now true, I will say that I would have issues with the lack of cleaning, the lack of organization, and the lack of probably a lot of things that I would be doing if I were the one at home.  But financially, it's a very viable option.  Too viable to not even consider it.

Now, of course, if Mike is discovered and then strikes it rich, we will be singing a different tune and I'll be able to have my dream home with my dream kitchen full of freezer meals a beautiful baby and NO JOB.  But hey... He's gotta be discovered and strike it rich first.

Wedded Wednesday- Voting

Since yesterday was election day, I think it's appropriate to discuss politics just this once (ok... I'll probably discuss politics a lot in the future, but I try not to).

I'm very opinionated, and when it comes to politics, I'm extremely opinionated.  That being said I lean one way with politics.  Not because I was told to, but because I am very informed, and I've found that I line up almost exactly with one specific side of things.  From reading my blog, you might even be able to take a gander at which way I lean, but if not, I refuse to tell you because quite frankly it's not relevant.  Just know I do have a very specific leaning.

My husband does not.  He hates politics.  He's very apathetic.  I'm pretty sure he only votes because I make him.  ;) No, I don't make him vote my way.  He does, though.  For his own reasons.  We even argued last night over one of his votes (we disagreed, but his reasoning was because the ad was done so well (in film-speak).  I WILL argue with you if you vote for stupid reasons, such as filmography).

A lot of people believe that it's not polite to discuss politics.  Indeed, I have learned that politics is a bad subject in group setting.  I don't discuss politics with my friends unless I know which way they lean and that we agree.  It's just nicer to have a conversation when you agree, ya know?  I respect their opinions if we don't, but I also put in the effort to avoid a disagreement.  This means that politics are (mostly) a no-no with some specific people, including an aunt and uncle, my cousin, and 2 of my closest friends (yes I have bi-lateral relations).  Also almost everyone I work with.

However, in a relationship?  We discuss politics, but rarely.  Mike doesn't care, really, and I try not to push my opinions on him.

But what if Mike and I didn't agree?

I personally find politics to be one of the BIG RELATIONSHIP TOPICS to discuss prior to marriage (right up there with "how many kids, if any").  If we don't agree, or we automatically start fighting over politics, it won't work out (obviously, it worked out fine with Mike.  This is a what-if).  I've been there and I hated it.  I can respect your opinion, but I don't have to live with it, and I won't.  For myself, politics in a relationship need to be on the same page.  This is definitely something I was wary of when I was dating, and I'm, quite frankly, very happy with the outcome.  It has nothing to do with different opinions.  Mike and I are very different in several areas of life.  It has everything to do with how I relate politics with your character and how you live your life.  As a friend, you have your own thing and I don't judge.  As a boyfriend/fiance/husband, your life and mine are intertwined too much.  And in practicality, to be very honest I never found someone from the opposite party that was really appealing to me as anything more than a friend.  I'm not sure if that's pure coincidence or what the reasoning may be, but it is what it is.

I am very curious about YOUR opinions on the matter, though.  Are you in a relationship with someone of a different political affiliation?  How do you handle politics in your house (whether you agree or disagree)?  Also, what do you teach your kids regarding politics (we don't have them yet, and I'm curious)?

Please do me a favor, though.  I don't want a comment battle or anything, so leave out party affiliations as much as possible.  KThanxBai

Wedded Wednesday on a Thursday (again)- Budgetting

Oh EM GEE What a big topic to attempt!

And I promise I'll eventually post more pictures, because that's what we all really want, isn't it?

So my mom is an accountant (wowza, you're snoozing already, I bet).  And as the daughter of an accountant, I had my own bank account and budget at 16 (SIXTEEN people!).  The format has never changed.  I love it that much.

Anywho, when Mike and I began discussing money as a couple I quickly learned that my situation was rather unique.  Mike didn't have a budget.  Didn't know how to really manage money.  So we basically just adopted my budget.

Still, I doubt Mike really knows how to manage our money, how the bills are paid, etc.  I basically handle it all.  I need to fix this, but that's for another day and time.

Oh, what?  You want to know how our budget works?  Gladly.  I love it.  I keep an excel sheet.  I have a separate column for each week, dated on pay day, because quite frankly that's just easiest.  At the top I have a separate row for what's in the bank and each type of income- My job, one for each of Mike's jobs, a babysitting line, a freelance line (Mike does freelance here), and then a misc other line.

Below the income section I have a bills section- a separate row for each bill- cable, insurance, mortgage, credit cards, internet, car payment, bajilions and bajilions student loan payments, etc.  And then I also have a separate row for weekly expenses like groceries, gas, pet stuff, dates, car maintenance, etc.  Things that are variable.

And then at the bottom I have the total rows- a total for income, a total for expenses, and then a total of what's left.  Yay.  Simple?  It actually looks really scary, but it's not.

We have everything we can think of budgeted, but our problem is there is just not enough money.  Ever.  Especially with Mike working part time.  I have the budget trimmed as much as we could.  We can survive.  For now.  Which is the important part.  The problem is, though, the budget is trimmed a little too much- we can't stay in budget.

And it's usually because of groceries.  How do you people eat healthy on a budget?  We just can't do it.  We can't get everything we need and still make the budget.  So then it comes out of our spending money, so something else gets cut (like my haircut... it's been pushed back way too much).

Anyways, eventually the goal is to have a comfortable amount of income.  At that point we will have 4 separate accounts in our house (cuz that's how we roll).  We think the ultimate goal is to have 1 checking and 1 savings account for the family.  Then when we are making enough money to exceed our daily needs, we will each have a separate account for what we have left over.  This will mainly be for things like buying gifts or other such luxuries (books in my case).

How do we decide how much each contributes to the joint expenses?  We'll determine that when we're actually making enough, I guess.  My assumption right now is that it'll be set up to where we each are getting the same amount of money for our own separate accounts- so who ever is making more will contribute more to the bills.

I'm curious how your house runs, though.  Money is one of those wedded subjects that no one normally wants to talk about.  It's sticky.  What have you found that really works?  What have you found that really doesn't?  How do you divide things when the income isn't even?  How do you handle things when the money is just plum gone?  Because I'll be honest- we are rather young, and we're still a young couple.  We are still testing the waters, and we're finding the pool is deeper than we thought in this particular category.

Wedded Wednesday (On a Thursday)- Running a Race

Do you ever feel like you're running a race through life?  Like you're always looking ahead at that next freakin' step?  So much so that you forget to enjoy the last step you accomplished?

THIS is my biggest problem, I think.  I see that I'm 24 years old and I automatically think "Holy SCHNIKEYS I'm twenty-freakin-four!" and almost panic because I'm nowhere near where I want to be.  I don't think Mike panics like I do, but he's certainly not where he wants to be either, and I know it weighs on him.

But I'm TWENTY FOUR!  I have like... a bajilion years left (oh dear, please please don't let me jinx myself!).  I have a stable job, even if I don't like it.  I have a college degree, even if I'm not using it.  I even have a husband.  :)  He has a college degree.  He may only be working part time, but at least he's using his degree.  We own a house (we own a freakin' house, man!). 

So why do I feel the need to rush into the next step?  That baby craze is awfully contagious, and it's awfully hard not to think "oh gosh i want one of those".  (It also doesn't help with the tragedy that happened in Aug).  Part of it is all the babies around me- they're on tv, they're in the office, and they're all over my freakin' facebook (OMG my generation is fertile!).

For us, we are waiting a little while, I think.  Mike is still part time, so financially we're not as stable or as prepared as I'd like to be.  I also would like to go back to school and get my Masters.  Plus, we have a bajilion house projects we would like to work on.  So I'm doing my best to NOT RUSH MYSELF!  It was SO HARD there for a while.  I felt like I was running out of time.  But you know what?  I can still be having children in the next 10 - 15 years.  THAT'S A LOT OF YEARS!!!

Because there is so much to enjoy at our age.  I have a husband I can spontaniously go out with.  I have friends I can party with until dawn without a worry.  As the first in our group to have a child, would we even see them much afterwards?  We have a dog who is all about getting all the attention, and can actually get it.  I get my fill of children by babysitting, which I love and would hate to have to give up.  I can get my Masters now, start a job I'll actually LOVE!  I would regret it later if I didn't take advantage of these things now, while we still can.

Why do people feel the need to push and push and push you to move on to the next big thing?  I think we should really commend the generation ahead of us (and our own) because I think we're breaking that pattern.  Lots of people are skipping steps, taking the steps backwards, or just completely changing them.  I think we get a lot of criticism for it, but I'm actually very happy with it.

I think our life will be a lot happier because we'll make decisions based on when we're ready and when we want to, no matter how much pushing and shoving there is on either side of the issue.  I'm really glad to finally be able to see that and fully embrace it.  I'll be honest- I wasn't before.

Pst... This is NOT linked up like I normally would, but if you wish you can visit the others here.

Wedded Wednesday- Loving Yourself

Have you visited The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans yet?  Oh no?  Well, I highly recommend it.  They are fabulous women working on a project that we could probably all use a little more of- our health.


What the caha does that have to do with Wedded Wednesday?  They posted a new challenge for the month of October.  I've yet to agree to it, but I plan on it.  Right now, actually.


The challenge is to love yourself.  OH MY GOOD GRACIOUSNESS!  That's asking a lot from me.  That is NOT sarcasm my webby friends.


Still- What the double caha- I made it up, and I like it.  It's meaningless, which means non-offensive -does that have to do with Wedded Wednesday?


My husband is a wonderful man.  He truly is.  He's pretty honest, too.  But probably the most frustrating thing for him in our relationship- me.  I can't take compliments.  I hardly give them.  I'm quick to find flaws and errors and problems without even noticing the blessings, the achievements, or the hard effort which is sometimes the whole point.  I'm a very very very strong willed perfectionist.  I used to see it as a good thing, but the older I get I'm starting to see that I might be wrong on that. Ironic, no?


Something I think a lot of people fail to see in successful relationships is the fact that each individual involved loves themselves.  They have a healthy life because they care about their own interests/achievements/goals.  This is NOT to say that they love themselves too much. That's possible.  It's just that they realize they are just as deserving as the other of their own dreams, goals, interests, time, etc.  It's extremely important in a relationship.  Otherwise you have the problem that my husband and I sometimes have to face.  So here's my huge confession and seriously- I recently told one of my best friends about this not more than a month ago......


I hate don't love myself.


Ok, really?.......... Maybe..... Hard to believe because I'm so freakin' awesome on my blog hahahaha!... I hide it well.  Those closest to me probably know the truth i.e. my mom, my best friends- especially the one I talked to- and my loving husband.  I have a hard time finding this so called middle ground.  I don't like being hard on myself, and logically I know that I do a lot of things really well, and if I don't I honestly try my hardest or have good intentions.  But if I'm nice to myself I feel that either a) I come off as conceited, selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, or just plain self-centered. How many of those words are redundant? or b) I feel like I just sacrificed something more important, like maybe doing something for myself replaced doing something nice for my husband, who deserves it more.  And secretly, I really really really care what others think. Logically, I don't understand why the crap it even matters at all, but the fear of what others think is really a big problem for me.  Why???  See?  I think my own faults are logically, well... stupid and unjustified!

But I'm working on it.  It's very difficult, though, because I see a lot of failures.  I graduated last year and expected life to be more.  I'm not even working with my degree.  I don't honestly enjoy my job, but I can't change until after Mike is settled.  I don't really even like my house.  The result of having a desk job has added to a problem I NEVER had until recently- weight gain.  I gained a good solid 20-25 pounds after leaving band and graduating.  I obviously had the recent issue with pregnancy.  I have time management issues.  Ps I think the laundry buzzed and I forgot... Damn caha.


All of these- and they aren't all completely my fault -I really had a hard time saying that...- are things that I see as flaws.  I nit-pick.  I see all the problems.  I have a hard time getting past them because I can't imagine life being ok, good, right without fixing all those little imperfections.


So here is my pledge.  I'm telling you here and now.  I'm going to change.  I'm going to start loving myself.  I am going to accept compliments.  I am going to believe the compliments and stop finding excuses for why someone is giving them.  I'm going to find one positive every time I see a negative.  I am going to fail.  I'm going to be ok with failing.  I'm going to make a mistake and try not to cry laugh at it.


And also?  I'm going to do the things that make me happy, and work on things to get me healthy again.  But Lynzie, you are healthy!  Actually... eh.  Most laugh when I say I'm fat.  I'm not, ok?  I know.  But I have some areas that I don't like, and I want to stay in the healthy weight range. Believe it or not, I'm actually very close to being overweight.  I'm going to work on it.  Not because I have to.  Because I want to.


And the rest?  I'll get there.  But it's ok if it takes one, five, ten years to do so.  Hell, Caha- I can still be having babies in 10 years, so I have plenty of time, right?


I'm so right.  ;)

PS- After re-reading this post, I come off a lot harsher than I realized... While it's all true, I seriously think it sounds a lot worse than it is.  I'm still sane enough to be happy.  And I realize life isn't going to be perfect- hence the title of the blog.  The general fact is life isn't perfect.  It's the specifics that get me.  And the first step- accepting my faulty perfectionism.  Because it's ok to be a perfectionist.  :)

Wedded Wednesday- Dates on a Budget

This is more of a fail, than a how-to.  FYI. 

My hubby and I love each other very much.  :)  But he works a TON right now, and opposite my work hours.  Plus, we don't really like the same things that much, so we don't spend a lot of time together. 

So we have begun to have weekly date night.  Every Saturday night.  The problem is we always end up spending all of the cash budgeted for the week on that one night.  NOT GOOD!!!

So how do we fix this??  Does anyone have any great date night ideas that are low budget?  We usually do dinner.  It's easiest.  But with wine and dessert it always costs a fortune.  Plus it gets boring.

So here are my ideas for the upcoming weeks- this week we have plans with friends to go to Shadowbox Cabaret.  Next week I'm thinking bowling?  Or maybe putt-putt?  I know... cliche, right?

Maybe we should do a picnic in the park one week while it's still nice enough to do that.  And we could take Romeo.  Not so romantic with the dog, but lots of fun.

UGH.  I wish we were rich.  That would just solve all most of our problems.

Also- Happy 50th post.  WOOPIE

Wedded Wednesday- Judging Others

A friend of mine (I've mentioned here before, her name is Allison) mentioned a nice little bloggy carnival thing, and I thought I'd give it a shot since my usual attempts at creating a routine die out so quickly.

It's called Wedded Wednesday from a wonderful woman named Johanna.  You can link up to it here.

For my first Wedded Wednesday, I'd like to let you in on a lesson I have learned in my little-more-than-a-year of marriage- Everyone's marriage is different, and it is impossible to see everything from the outside view.

You should normally never judge.  I have never had an issue abiding by this honestly, but it seems that a lot of people have a problem with it.  This is not a response to someone's judgement of late or anything personal, so please don't wonder who I'm pointing a metaphorical finger at- it's no one.  I have just noticed in my little-more-than-a-year of marriage that above most things, people judge relationships and marriages. 

I've heard comments about couples, how they won't last.  I've heard comments on how the girlfriend doesn't treat her boyfriend right because she picked out decorations for his new house.  But most of all I used to worry about what Mike's friends said about ME.  I never fit in real well with the crowd, and Mike is well loved by EVERYONE.  He just doesn't have a lot of faults, and he's extremely loyal to his friends.  I just didn't match up.  We were complete opposites, and I am known to make enemies for my strong opinions.

Somewhere along the way I stopped worrying what they think.  They don't see all that goes on.  So what if we never hang out when we're at a party?  He goes one way I go another.  So they heard us disagree.  So what?  They don't see how he cuddles me.  How we hold hands even when alone.  His sweet text messages, or really even how we fight- we fight honestly, without harsh words, and we never hit below the belt.  We fix the issue at hand openly.  If we get too upset, we take a break from the fight until we calm down.

Not even my own mother sees all the good in our relationship.  I honestly think she's terrified he'll leave me some day!  Our housemate at one point used to get real uncomfortable when we bickered.  It took her a while to realize that 99% of it was a loving joke.  We are actually still in a honeymoon stage, I think.  We're happier than we've ever been. 

Maybe people like to find faults so they can compare themselves a little better.  I don't know.  I've just learned that judging relationships is like looking through shattered glass.  You don't really see what it is your looking at.  Not thoroughly at least.