Friday, October 15, 2010

Remembering and Supporting

Remember back in August when I told you about the awful tragedy(ies) that my family went through?

It sucked.  But you know what else sucks?

I lost two followers that day.  I break the worst news of my life online and two of my followers decide that whatever it was at that time, that was the tipping point, and they were done with me.

I honestly couldn't even tell you who they were, but seriously?  It upset me a little.  I blog because I want to connect.  I want support.  I want to know more people in this world, and I want to be able to share my opinions and stories with others.

Secretly, we're all attention whores.  At least I am.

So I'm going to share something else with you, pretty much dead on the same subject, and I'm curious to see the reaction. 

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  That's a pretty long title, if you ask me.  How about we call it Remembrance Day?  A day to remember all of our babies.  And by baby, it could be anyone from just starting off in the womb to a 57 year old son of an 80 year old grandparent.  Because we are all someone's baby.

I lost my baby on August 16.  I never got to see a face, or even a heartbeat.  The only picture I saw was on the day we found out it had already left us.  But the big shocker?  I know a BAJILION women (and men) who have suffered the same loss.  I just never knew it.  Until this year I never knew there was an official remembrance day, or a tradition known as the International Wave of Light.

I think everyone should know.  And don't sit there and say "Good God when will this woman get off her freakin' soap box about this and move on?".  I guarantee you know someone who's suffered as I have.  Or someone who's lost a son, or a daughter to some other fight- be a physical injury, an ailment, or just God's will.

At first I wasn't going to mention it.  I'm not even mentioning it on my facebook.  Most of my friends don't know what I've gone through, mainly because I can't stand being pitied.  It's such a taboo subject, and everyone seems to think it should be forgotten in a matter of weeks.  I was afraid to mention it even here, mainly because I want to be the funny happy blogger with the quirky attitude.  I was afraid of losing more of my very small number of followers.

I'm not so poetic.  So you should take a look here and here.  These women write it much better and they even have a list.  If you truly want to see the impact miscarriage and loss has, you should start there.  The stories break your heart.

And please, please.  I can't re-iterate this enough.  I'm not upset.  Or suffering.  Even though I don't think we ever stop mourning our losses, I'm not still "grieving" as most people see it.  I have moved on in my life.  But I will always remember.  Will anyone else?

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